No jokes please, this is Singapore

Law and Home Affairs Minister K Shanmugam has revealed that he “laughed off” the Facebook comments from two netizens about wanting to throw an egg at him, when he was informed about the comments.

I hope Shanmugam would also laugh at this pic and not to classify it as fake news. I swear I did not create this pic. Just received it in my whatsapp. Please, I will remove it if this is offensive, if it is wrong to repost this pic here or anywhere. Please, just let me know, I am a law abiding person, no intention to offend anyone or to break the law.


Virgo 49 said...

Aiya, Mr RB, this Shame wayang lah!

Who made the Report? His balls sucker or carrier?

Or even without any report, his running men will also take actions lah.

Promotions don't want meh!

Now he just said I take it as joke.

How do you know he the One who initiated or order the investigation.

Wayang King. Showing maganity.

Conned children.

Anonymous said...

Peasants, listen !! Don't u dare talk about throwing eggs at Singapore aristocrats !!

Anonymous said...

Rb, your photo is ok as its not directed any specific individual. It could be including throw at opposition Politicians including the losers.

Anonymous said...

@ Mr C L Chua or any learned lawyer:

Just asking a clarification (Usually Mr Teochew also does that in parliament but of course with the liberty within the constitution)

Are we allowed to raise any clarification (outside parliament) to avoid any ambiguity etc?

Ⓜatilah $ingapura⚠️ said...

@ RB

Not to worry mate. Not being a cry-baby, I won’t be making any police report about people who sling epithets at me on or off the net. I am a FREDDOM OF SPEECH *ABSOLUTIST*, a very endangered species in our crazy PC times.

As a young man, I frequently got into trouble because of my cheebye mouth, and tendency to never back down when a physical altercation was likely to happen. This went on until an early mentor (he was black American, now deceased) “schooled” me in a hard truth: ALWAYS remember WHERE you are!.

That unfortunate young man, like Amos and Roy Ngreng did not moderate their choices to action because they neglected to pay attention to WHERE they were. You are in Singapore, and the govt is a “big fan” of The Rule Of Law ie. their rule, their law, interpreted as the letter of the law, not the overall “spirit” of the compact.

The “letter of the law” is interpreted by the State’s courts, and their interpretation is FINAL. If you look at how successful appeals are after justice (?) and sentencing has
been meted out, you’ll notice : “not that successful”. When the Singapore government brings down its Iron Fist, there is no moderation, no mercy...you are going down and probably won’t be able to get up again. Your reputation is shit, you become a social outcast and might even be a target for assault. e.g. Amos was physically attacked at least twice in public.

So IMO, you need to be crafty, and be extremely disciplined in mind before you “express yourself”. Remember: There is NO freedom of speech or expression in Singapore. Read that again, make a poster and hang it on your wall, so that whenever something the government does or says pisses you off, you do whatever it is to calm down and moderate your response.

If you stick your head out, someone will try to chop it off. Every AUTHORITARIAN government will make examples out of a few unlucky people, to send a clear message that they will act swiftly and ruthlessly if they catch you stepping out of line.

The Singapore government is one of the most ACTION-ORIENTED govts. It might be many things you don’t like, but one thing is for certain: they are consistent to the point of being PREDICTABLE.

But wait...there’s more! And I won't be the one to spoil the surprises you will experience, especially as we move closer to a GE.

Be safe.

Got Hotel...yet?

Anonymous said...

New Law: Must apply for police permit to buy eggs. Any type of eggs. Chicken eggs, duck eggs, pigeon eggs, fish eggs, century eggs, salted eggs, turtle eggs, and especially rotten eggs and snake eggs.

Scared Shitless said...

I don't know about you guys but when I'm in trouble, I sure would like Ashwin to be my mouthpiece.

He speaks sense and interprets the law much more realistically. You know instinctively that he is on your side.

The safest way to avoid trouble is to act like my AI mobile. Read only. No writes.

Anonymous said...

Any one carrying must be escoted by at least to police escorts. Cardboard police can be used as substitutes because of shortage of live policemen.

Anonymous said...

Any one carrying EGGS must be escoted by at least to police escorts. Cardboard police can be used as substitutes because of shortage of live policemen.

Anonymous said...

I believe Matilah is right. Remember where you are and be very careful what you say in Singapore. Famous for Chicken rice but not very good at " freedom of speech ".

Ⓜatilah $ingapura⚠️ said...

@ Virgo,

Yes exactly 100% correct: the Singapore government will act swiftly if there is a public complaint over something “offensive”. Amos was busted because members of the public filed police report.

In the NT, Pontius Pilate “washed his hands of blood” when the mob of angry Jews called for the execution by crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth. The Singapore govt applies the same principle of “Biblical Justice” when dealing with matters which a member or members of the public find “objectionable”, even though in this case the minister just laughed it off. (as a lawyer, he already has thick skin, and even in the private sector, this chap was...how to say...not “universally liked”)

Universal test for AUTHORITARIANISM, the simplest test:
If you run the risk of being deemed a “criminal” conducting normal activity and speech and thought, then it is highly probable that you are living in an AUTHORITARIAN system

Throwing agricultural produce (especially rotting ones) at public figures is an idea which dates right back to the time of the earliest human societies...at the times when most people were peasants and worked in farming. ie. “the good old days” πŸ˜‚

@ 942

In Taiwan (and other cuntries) physical violence erupts in the parliament itself. Politicians hantam each other. No eggs are used. “Low cholesterol violence” 😎

Ⓜatilah $ingapura⚠️ said...

@ 946

The smarter play is not to get in a position where you'll need a lawyer in the first place. Even disregarding everything else, your "trouble" will cost you thousands of dollars...and you have NO IDEA how long the case will run, which you'll probably lose anyway.

Bad trade! Don't do it.

Anonymous said...


Title: The Agony of An Auntie at the Wet Market

Act 1

To buy or not to buy, that is the question :
Whether chicken egg stewed in dark sauce for lunch
The taoguo and tapok of outrageous taste,
Or to savour the stew amidst a sea of pig trotters fats,
And by dieting resist the eating? To eat, to sleep:
No more, and by a tapok we say stop
The taste buds and the gazillion sensation,
The flesh is tenderness that melt in consummation by the tongue,
Devoutly to be swallowed. To die, to eat;

To be continued...

Ⓜatilah $ingapura⚠️ said...

@ all

Amos posted this immediately after LKY died. The nation was just starting to mourn...and then this. Fantastic timing, whole cuntry kena slapped ...PIAK! Christians kena slapped PIAK! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

It is not that Amos’s video is funny, it is the reaction from the govt and their “fans” which was even FUNNIER!

The first thing to go under freedom of speech restriction is HUMOUR. In China you cannot use Winnie the Pooh because it “offends” Xi Jinping. If you can’t make fun of your leaders or authorities like “religion”, a big part of “life's enjoyment” is lost.

In Singapore you can’t do either. Fuck it!

Anonymous said...

Poem Title: Oufoolmaniac
Author: By Messy Byeee Shelk

"Ai read about an egg thrower from aussieland
Who did: "One egg thrown and a vast wrestle to his boLEE"
Floored on the crowded stage packed with reporters . . . Near them, on the stage,
Half shattered, a forlorn sign lies, whose smile,
And wicked lip, and sneer of army command,
Tell that its craftsman well those pastimes read
Which yet live, eyes pasted stamps,
The hand that robbed them, and the oldies heart that bled :
And on the poster these words written:
'My SHAME is Oufoolmaniac, minionster of minionsters:
Look on my LEEgime, ye PinkPanther, and compare!'
Laughing stocks remain. Round the joke
Of that tiny snort, cannot see even on the world map
The lo(oooooo)ng and empty street far ahead."

jjgg said...

Reminded me.. years ago..I went to police station n reported that someone had threatened me.. first question I was asked was whether anything happened... what!!! Nothing happened yet? Please come back when something happens. Has the law changed? Has police practice changed? Will soldiers now be protecting our MIW? Will we require permits to buy eggs? Will it be lesser crime if blogger had said quail / pigeon eggs n bigger crime if he had said ostrich eggs?.. have we heard the last of this??

Ⓜatilah $ingapura⚠️ said...

@ 1149

>> Has the law changed? <<

Yes. It's called Shamuganism of the law. 🀑

Anonymous said...

@Anon 11:08am, @Matilar,

It's based on Rudyard Kipling's poem "Ozzymandias".

Anonymous said...

Laughing will soon be an offence in Singapore punishable by caning and jail.

Anonymous said...

Hi all

Why waste time kpkb and tcss here?

It was reported that dbsceo got $11,900,000.00 for 2018!

Well done dbsceo!


Ⓜatilah $ingapura⚠️ said...

@ 1259

>> It was reported that dbsceo got $11,900,000.00 for 2018! <<

Wah, I just got some violent thoughts?

Anyone else? πŸ’€πŸ˜Ή

Anonymous said...

@Anon 12:56pm

Considering how much the ahneh ceo has increased the value & dividends of my DBS stocks, I don't mind he gets the big fuck salary lah. DBS has really been transforming & taking advantage of new tech, AI, mobile, virtualization, digitalization etc etc, and has run ahead & pulled away from UOB & OCBC in recent years. It has the rare quality of being conservative & quality-focus in traditional banking, while being explorative & disruptive in emerging & new banking. All the big fuck ang moh institutional investors have bought & are still buying into DBS stocks. One of the strongest & well run bank in the world.

Ⓜatilah $ingapura⚠️ said...

@ fans of freedom

I abhor violence, although occasionally it is necessary. It can also, on rare occasions, be FUN.

I much prefer RIDICULE & MOCKERY

Anonymous said...

Authoritarianism leads to Dictatorship.

Dictatorship leads to Dick-cater-ship.

Dick-cater-ship leads to Dick-hater-ship.

Dick-hater-ship leads to Irony.

Irony leads to Tyranny.

Tyranny leads to Revolution.

Revolution leads to Rejuvenation.

Rejuvenation leads to Progress.

Progress leads to Prosperity.

Prosperity leads to Complacency.

Complacency leads to Greed.

Greed leads to Carelessness and Impatience.

Carelessness leads to mistakes.

Impatience leads to hastiness.

Mistakes and Hastiness lead to Blunders.

Blunders lead to Downfall.

Anonymous said...

"@ Mr C L Chua or any learned lawyer:

Just asking a clarification (Usually Mr Teochew also does that in parliament but of course with the liberty within the constitution)

Are we allowed to raise any clarification (outside parliament) to avoid any ambiguity etc?"

Dear Mr Chin Leng Chua,

Referring to the above clarification, have not received any respond yet?

All dunno?

Anon 9.23am

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Ask Shanmugam.

Anonymous said...

Violence is the LAW of the Jungle.
This is the Only Necessary Law of Nature, where every single Animal and Human knows and understands.

The other Natural Laws are:

What goes up must come down.

What goes in must come out.

What is born must die.

What is created/built will be destroyed.

What is good can be bad, and vice versa.

What is big eats and bully the small.

What is small can be big and powerful.

What is small can also eat and destroy the big.

What is strong and powerful bullies the weak and powerless.

What is powerful can be powerless.

What is weak can be powerful.

Unity of many is strength that overcomes the strong and powerful.

Man-made laws suit only certain period and certain group of people.

Man-made laws are not universal laws.

Man-made laws are subject to change.

Man-made laws can be crude, rude, unethical, immoral, unjust and inhuman.

Anonymous said...

And don't forget:

Man-made laws are basically based on selfishness.

Though initially may be motivated by universal altruism, in practice laws are always interpreted, applied and safe-guarded by selfish people for selfish people with selfish motives.

Anonymous said...

@ Chua Chin Leng aka redbean March 28, 2019 3:14 pm
//Ask Shanmugam.//

Mr Chin Leng Chua,

Yew mean in parliament or what?

Not interested in being an MP or any other post of an absurdity (termed by founding PM during a 1957 Legislative Assembly debate, can check Hansard if don't believe) leh. So don't have the liberty to table (such a question).

Mr Teichew usually likes to raise many many clarifications until the previous speaker, MADAM PRESIDENT (addressed in such term by KEE CHIU at least twice during a parliament proceeding at least twice, also can check Hansard or video recording if don't believe) has to remind him not to make a speech or sthg along that line so perhaps SHAMBOLEE can relay the query to Mr Teichew to raise it?

Just wondering only . .

If all lazy or borchap then nm.

Matilah PeesaiLah

Anonymous said...

U can just email him, both his minister & mp emails r online. Or u can ask him in person during mps.

This is what i do to my own mp, but is to ask them to reopen foreigner floodgate.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous March 28, 2019 5:48 pm
//Or u can ask him in person during mps.//

Aiyo but no need stay in Chong Pang meh?

Yew mean residents staying at Siglap/ East Coast also can go ChongPang mps see MP?

Not so rich leh cannot stay in such atas estate...

Anonymous said...

6pm anon, then it's your problem lar. πŸ˜€

Anonymous said...

No need stay there also can go see him chit chat. Anyway u so free to type here might as well just type email to him larr. Dont give excuse just do larr.

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous March 28, 2019 6:33 pm
//6pm anon, then it's your problem lar//

No problem lah cos only kong cum Imh escapee think is a "problem" lor lol LMAO

Such atas estate name aka Chong Pang don't have the "good fortune" to stay there lah and how such a "latKoo" MP

not so rich leh to buy hdb flat in CHONG PANG (which sound more atas than many gcb districts like Namly, Jervois, Clunny. ...?)




Anonymous said...

Anonymous March 28, 2019 6:58 pm
//No need stay there also can go see him chit chat. Anyway u so free to type here might as well just type email to him larr. Dont give excuse just do larr.//

Ha ha

Lo(oooooo)ng ago(h) send before no use leh

Typical template reply most if not all the time?

Lagi waste time. ..?

Yew all oldies lazy say so lah

Almost go hougang ... Oops Aljunied ...oops Bedok Reservoir constituency talk to Mr Teichew lor

Now Yaw also no lo(ooooo)nger around help him in mps not like last time in hougang void deck in the 90s?

My Mr Teichew can afford take in one more assistant to help out at void deck MPS near Bedok Reservoir Rd?

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous March 28, 2019 6:58 pm
//No need stay there also can go see him chit chat. //

Chong Pang so far also dunno how to go there

Got bus from RC every week?

And (aka 2011 kee Chou organised) Free Chicken rice have? (tell him prefer his name sake Hawker Chan Michelin soy sauce chicken rice with the chasiew and roast pork. Only want the Ji Tui Rou or the juicy drum stick part. No chicken breast meat pls cos that part of chicken meat very tough.)

BTW, remember ask them qi gu aka remove the bones like the hainanese chicken rice boneless version.

Anonymous said...

7.01pm anon, u die die must say like that. U need to be sodomised larπŸ˜€

Anonymous said...

Banana 4:38pm, uncle RB's name is Chua Chin Leng, not Chin Leng Chua. Only silly bananas try to ape the westerners and write their banana names backside front and front side back.

And if you want to ask about shit, go and ask Mr Shit or people who shit everywhere. If you want to ask about greed go and ask the greedy.

Simple commonsense also no have.

Anonymous said...

Would they stop selling eggs since egg throwing can be so dangerous?

Anonymous said...

Can sell, but may need permit. Another source of good revenue for them. Also can create more jobs for foreigners to come here.

Anonymous said...

11.32pm anon, u be careful lar spreading falsehood like this then Kena invited lim Kopi then u know. Of course lagi worst then Kena sodomize by tuakee when detained. So don't play play lar ��

Anonymous said...

New Laws Proposals:

All those who sell eggs must apply for licence and police permit. (Govt makes money with just a piece of paper) renewable on yearly basis.

All those buying and using eggs must apply for police permit on a daily basis (Police makes money).

All those carrying eggs must apply for a police permit on a per trip basis (not transferable) - (police makes tons of money.

Licence is initially set at $120£ per year, subject to annual review.

Police permits are of three categories:

1. Seller.
2. Buyer.
3. Carrier.

The amount to charge for the permits will include admin fee, stamp duties and deterent deposit.

The amounts will be set at the discretion of the officer-in-charge of each police station. Online application will be charged at a flat rate to be determined by the CFO of the Central Police Division, and periodically revised at the direction of the Home Affairs Minister's wimps and fancies. His decision is final. No appeals can be made in any court of law in any country.

Anonymous said...

"His decision is final. No appeals can be made in any court of law in any country."

Dictatorship at the highest order. Looks more like a Decree from an Emperor.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

When I said no jokes please, I forgot to include no fake news please.

What Anon 7:31am commented is obviously meant to be a joke and anyone thinking person would know that it is written in jest. But this is not good enough as you do not know how many perverts are out there that would take this literary and may even make a police report that this is spreading fake news.

I want to warn everyone reading 7:31am that this is not real news, OK?

So, please don't be so uptight.

I will delete this comment if there are any complaints or request for it.

In Singapore, just got to be extremely careful. When telling a joke one must said so in advance. Daft sinkies cannot tell the difference.