Outsourcing the way to Go

Pardon my pun, it is real. Outsourcing is the greatest discovery of Sin City and we did it so well that we can end up shaking our legs and don’t have anything to do. We first outsourced our banking answering services to call centres, then we outsourced the whole IT functions to foreigners. We outsourced our construction industry to foreign workers and our service sectors to foreigners as well.

Our foodcourts and hawker centres are also being outsourced, including our famous Geylang. All have been taken over by foreigners. Our beggars would also have been outsourced if not of our strict laws to prohibit begging. But the fun side of begging is allowed and outsourced, like busking.

Our top management jobs in GLCs and the private sector are increasingly being outsourced to foreign talents. Oops, some have become instant citizens with the issue of pink identity cards. Our universities are also outsourcing their professorships to foreign academics. Our Medical services too are being outsourced, from nursing to doctors and specialists/consultants. Our civil service is also gradually being outsourced. Oh, I forgot, we will also be outsourcing our tertiary students like we outsourced our sports talents. Our students can rest or if they want to, can enrol in the polytechnics.

Now they are thinking of outsourcing the police and the soldiers. It will soon be a reality when the volunteers’ corp proves its worth. We can even do away with NS and let foreigners put on our military and police uniforms.

The final step in outsourcing will be the govt, the political leadership. When this last step is done, our leaders would have a lot of time to make state visits to countries after countries for networking and fellowship. And if they like it, they could go and watch our outsourced sportsmen and women competing in the Olympics, Asian Games, Commonwealth Games and World Cup, and to cheer them to victory. This will raise the morale of the outsourced sportsmen and women and motivate them to win more medals for the citizens to celebrate on their return. Yes we will be like the Romans, the ruling class. Our leaders could go on study missions too. The bulk of the work to govern the country would be delegated to the foreign talents acting as ministers and prime minister.

The best part of this is that when the foreign talents fumbled, even if they are appointed as ministers or prime minister, they can be fired immediately. It is difficult to do this if the prime minister or ministers are Singaporeans. And the people will be happy as there will be accountability. Non performing foreign talent ministers would be fired like in the private sector.

There is a slight problem though. What would the citizens and leaders be doing with all the free time they have if everything is outsourced? Would they be making themselves redundant when they have nothing else meaningful to do, except maybe counting money or speculating in properties?

Oursourcing is the way to GO indeed.

Kopi Level - Green