10/25/2012

Don't lose your moral compass

Below is an article posted in 3in1 Kopitiam by Makapa. The moral of the story applies to everyone in every industry.

Millionaire plastic surgeon dies of cancer at age 40.


Saw this testimonial from this ex Raffles surgeon who made tons of money, bought a Ferrari and kena cancer. It may be a bit skewed towards religion, but he has some notable points on not living to societal and media's bench mark of success. It reminded me of the recent case where the MD died on a overseas working trip (brain aneurism). Worth a read.





Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who is a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer but selflessly came to share with the D1 class his life experience on 19-Jan-2012.



Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a medical doctor. And I thought I'll

just share some thoughts of my life. It's my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.



Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me that happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since I was young.



Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye.



So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.



You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a procedure done. So life was really good.



So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.



So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know.



So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the pinnacle.



Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.



This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.



See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But it wasn't. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down..



You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even hatred.



Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy.



Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn't it? What an irony isn't it?



There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn't. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff.



Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.



Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts.



Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn't handle it.



Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients.



A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.



Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.



Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system.



We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient's shoes.



Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and too little.



You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to know that they exist.



So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you today.



I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth, this is what I’m going through.



Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way. With that I thank you, if you have any questions you have for me, please feel free. Thank you.

36 comments:

Matilah_Singapura said...

Big deal. Death bed philosopher trying to absolve himself of whatever the fuck he thinks he needs.

The fact is, bad unexplainable shit can happen to anyone for any reason, at anytime.

The fact is there wouldn't be a need for cosmetic surgery if humans in general have "needs" to be more "perfect" or the even more neurotic thought of being "better than perfect". Why is this douche bag feeling guilty?

Anyway, its a bit late for regret isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Why not post this in PETIR ?

Anonymous said...

All your belongings are your burden.

Anonymous said...

Matilah, yes it's too late for him and he acknowledged it. But it may not be too late for you, u screwball

Anonymous said...

thank you very much, redbean for posting this. we always think that we will not mati. if we really believe that we will mati, we will behave differently.

patriot said...

Haha........

Matilah Singapura, wonderful to find You humouring us again.
For once, me worries we lost You for good and to me that loss is less great than the loss of your wisdoms.

The doctor's revelation, confession, hedonistic and epicurean lifestyle sound quite familiar. Then hey, i realized someone seems to fit it and You know wat? Matilah comes to mind, not the Botak Matilah, it's Matilah Singapura.

The obsession with money, possession and power has plague many of our talented elites. It resulted in many losing their consciences.

The Doctor has realized it a little too late though, however at least he is repenting. For others, it is not too late to repent. QUESTION IS, ARE THEY GOING TO?

I wish the Doctor is at peace with himself and thank him for giving us a peek into his existence and the invalueable exhortation.

patriot

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

This doctor is dead according to the article.

patriot said...

Oh, in tat case, hope He rest in peace
and condolences to his family.

patriot

Veritas said...

In Buddhist theology, we all born to suffer. The minute one is born, he suffer until he see creator.

When you do not live, you do not suffer. I see death not as a bad thing, but as something good.

I am more Indian than Indian.

Veritas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

i've been away from the internet for quite a while. when i came back, it's nice to see matilah, veritas, patriot & redbean all in one page. hope ahkongkia will join soon. hope none of us mati too soon, eh. even for matilah, i don't wish for him to mati soon. i do enjoy his jolting skewered wisdom once in a while.

Anonymous said...

His behavior before dianosed as lung cancer make me think of the greedy PAP and their policies to make everybody behave that way. Sad to be a Singaporean. Must ask LHL to read.

Anonymous said...

Post this in PETIR.
The magazine of Millionaires.

Anonymous said...

I came across a similar blog post just now, which looks could be inspiring:
http://veganash.wordpress.com/2012/10/23/an-uplifting-story-from-a-reader/

agongkia said...

Anon 8.03pm
Welcome back.Those that you mentioned ,Patriot,Veritas,Matilah and of course Readbean etc are my walking encyclopedia and I secretly learn a lot from them here,at least if I catch no ball,still managed to learn proper English from them.
I visit this site on and off lately,depending on the availability of my medicine.Sometimes tend to learn from Redbean and try to provoke thoughts and deliberately want to get some bashing and F from netizen just for some thrill.Feel uncomfortable not getting F.Dun know what sickness is this.Worst than bipolar.You mentioned ahkongkia but not me,I feel sad.

Anonymous said...

i meant agongkia not ahkongkia

patriot said...

Any chance to be of being
is better than never exist.

Whatever happens to one is
an opportunity to taste life,
be it hard or joyful.

Living, ultimately is a challenge.

patriot

agongkia said...

Anon 1003.
Thanks,very touch to know someone miss me.Me also remember and miss one Lijiang emperor,that Wing Chun sifu here..Wally,I think.Just concern whether he is fine and wonder why he awol from here.

Anonymous said...

This article reminded me of a very "sore" encounter that I had during my late father's cancer treatment at Tan Tock Seng Hospital some 20 years ago, yes 20 years ago!.
While trying to translate the doctor's advice to my late father,this "cold-blooded" TTSH's top physician, had "shooed" us out of his consultation room!.
How can I forgive such "in-human" medical practitioner!

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

The legal and medical professions are infested with sharks and bandits. You must listen to what their victims called them after being robbed of their savings, and maybe near bankruptcy or in debt.

agongkia said...

I know of one greedy worker warded and the charges is about less than 9K.But when reported it as a workmen injury under the law, charges automatically become 29K....MOM never instruct insurer to pay...only ask to employer to pay worker..insurance want employer to pay first claim later..worker keep wanting more.... towkay now force to see Ah Long or close shop....buy WIS insurance for what?

auto said...

We are born to love and give. Read and understand the parables of talents. If more is entrusted, more giving is expected. Btw, our insurance system and medical profession is tremendously flawed.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Rotten papaya wrote this comment in TRE. '...It reminded me of a GP I once knew some time ago. He was a partner in a large medical group (unlisted at that time).

What was special about him was that after he closed his clinic in the evenings he would go on his usual rounds around Singapore with his medical bag to treat old folks in their homes and he did not charge them a single cent at all.

I had the good fortune to accompany him twice on his rounds and it was around midnight when he finished. He never failed to be caring and gentle when treating those old folks...'

There are very few such people left in this world and in the medical profession. Many are like Dr Richard Teo, the millionaire doctor above before cancer struck, and enjoying making all the money they could and have a good life.

Anonymous said...

How was the charges raised by over 200%?

Heard many years ago tat insured patient can choose to stay in A Class Ward. Could it be the case with the Said Worker? Tis is the second time me got to hear such situation, are there no Law or Regulation regarding such hospitalization and conpensation?

It sounded very unusual and confusing. Wonder if Redbean, as a former HR Professional can be of help? Insurer asking employer to pay just sound strange.

agongkia said...

anon8.58
Sorry side track a bit.
Heard that PT Worker stayed in C ward due to shortage of bed and XGH said bed charge under C but specialist treatment should charge under A.So 9 K become 28 K .Heard MOM saying they got no power to tell who to pay for the 29K. Only interested on worker part.Maybe insurance company try to Siam..Heard its lion logo insurance ,wonder whether its under the same as the Taunee family bank.

Back to the point..
Stage 4 cancer still got cure .A stage 4 lung cancer patient that I know was lying on bed and tell those around him that doctor said his life would end in January this year.He himself is not rich but a poor man he helped financially before recommend some miracle herb and he is moving about now.
Sometime I believe certain illness is just a name to scare people into believing it and spent on those treatment and medicine and it benefit certain profession.

Many professional are actually becoming millionaire by cheating the daft and they dare claim to be plastic surgeon,insurance,geomancer etc.




Anonymous said...

whenever i happen to walk in a hospital staff only car park and i see all the super cars parked there, i always tell myself all these paid by some poor patients' entire life savings. really touch wood ah, but if i kena incurable disease i'd check myself into a hospice and wait for death & at the same time i'd pray a lot rather than give some bloodsucking doctor my life savings.

Matilah_Singapura said...

Imagine living without doctors.

Actually you can't. Most of us would die, many painfully.

"Greed" is a part of human nature. Not confined to doctors or lawyers or any high earning professional.

Low earning cunts can also be greedy, and many of them are. They expect "someone" to give them the sun, moon and earth, and by some mystical moral standard of being broke-ass indigent, they think they are morally "entitled" to such largesses for FREE.

Moral compass? Rich =evil. Poor = good.

Get fucking real lah.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

I have been away from HR for many years and may not be up to date with Workman Compensation or Staff Medical benefits schemes.

Generally company will buy insurance to cover their staff and the amount claimable and the ward class could be specified. The insurance will pay when the claims are legitimate and according to the terms of the agreement.

When claims from a company keep going up, the insurance will jack up the premiums payable. This is the vicious cycle, medical fees up, insurance premiums up, then hospital knows insurance paying, jack up fees, and ....

The meanest thing this govt has done is to introduce mean testing to force patients to go to more expensive wards when they refused or cannot afford to. The evil of mean testing need not be elaborate and only wicked people can come up with such schemes.

When medical fees are so expensive and people wanted to go bare, to C ward, it is their rights to do so. And when the demand for C wards is high, the govt must increase the availability of C wards and not to force people to B and A wards. And then go on to blame people for competing with poorer people for heavier subsidised C wards. Now even the issue of subsidies is questionable.

This exact sick policy is also applied to public housing. Forcing people to consume beyond their means. Is this well meaning, prudence or wicked?

There are no wicked guys in the govt. All is done for the good of the people. So they said.

patriot said...

Chin Leng:

Veritas, as a believer, says humans are born to suffer,

Me, an atheist, tends to feel that himans have a natural sadistic tendency. And tat is, seeing others suffer does not hurt their conscience. In fact, there are people who cause the sufferings and know it.

patriot

Anonymous said...

well mr matilah yaya papaya, let's hope when you get real sick, the doctors will charge you a ludicrous amount or an amount you cannot afford. or something your insurance decided suddenly not to cover.

Matilah_Singapura said...

anon 115

Congrats you dumb cocksucker. You are so typically Singaporean, and so unabashedly ASIAN.


Not satisfied? Then just curse the object/ person which/ who pissed you off.

No wonder your mind still lives in the Dark Ages.

Best of luck. You'll need it. Do some ancestral worship -- maybe those dead motherfuckers in your family will help you ;-)

Anonymous said...

Chua Chin Beng (October 27, 2012 9:28 AM)


I totally agree with what you said about means testing. It was definitely introduced by a very evil person.

Anonymous said...

dear matilah, looking at the words and phrases you use in your comments, it is you who are doing the cursing. you are the one who is so typically Singaporean, and so unabashedly ASIAN. you are always the one who are cursing the object/ person which/ who pisses you off. your mind lives in the pre-Dark Ages. ayn rand's objectivism ha ha ho hum. best of luck to you.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hi Chin Beng, welcome to the blog. When you have wicked people around, there is no need to invent the devil.

Anon 7:52, you are pressing the right buttons on matilah you can see him quiver: )

Matilah_Singapura said...

Nice try lah.

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