Trial Episode 2

It was the year 2015. A new party won the general election by fluke. The former ruling party is now in the opposition. The new PM, a gungho never say die joker, more like a loanshark boss, has been sworned in at the Sentosa Casino Resort. They have sold Parliament House and the Istana, and Parliament seating will now be in Sentosa IR. On his maiden speech in Singasong Parliament he gave a 3 hour long speech interjected with humour and wits and the whole parliament was roaring with laughter. In one of his anecdotes he recalled being invited for breakfast during a walkabout. He said, "I ordered mee siam mai hiam.' At this, the whole parliament was in stitches. Then it was silence. He stopped and stared at everyone. 'Why are all of you laughing? I have not come to the punchline yet.' The MPs then realised that there was nothing funny in what he said. This rougish PM may have tattoes all over his body, but he does not like chilli. His mee siam mia hiam is nothing unusual. 'There are only two reasons why you are all laughing. Either you are trying to apple polish me or you are not listening. Don't do that again. Laugh only when there is something funny.' On that note he slammed his files onto the table and stormed out of Parliament. Waiting for someone to polish it up.

Trial Episode 1

Let this parliament be that of a fictional country, call it whatever you like, like Singasong Parliament. Ok, any uncanny resemblance to any events or individuals is only an unintended coincidence. Everything is pure fiction. How's that for a start. Day one Parliament sitting and the Opposition Leader MP, Mr Kow Teck Kho, was the first to speak. He demanded to know why the police rejected his application to visit his constituencies on bicycles was turned down. The Minister of Home Affairs Mr Boh Ho stood up slowly, cleaned his spectacles, and took his time to reply. He said, 'Mr Kow, listen very carefully to what I am going to say. I shall not repeat myself. You are a very well known and charismatic politician. You know what will happen if you cycle around your estate with 30 of your grassroot leaders? People will rush out to hug you and want to shake your hand. And soon there will be a crowd. Traffic jams, accidents can happen. You will create a commotion and public disorder. How can we allow that? Now think carefully about how well meaning was our decision. Thank you.' 'Why are you doing this to me and approve all the other applications? You victimise me or what?' 'Mr Kow, you are different. You are very popular. Like I said, people will rush out to shake your hands. Why am I repeating this? The rest of the MPs are not as popular as you. No one will run out to greet them. So they will not cause traffic jam.' While Mr Kow was trying to jump out from his seat, the Speaker told him to sit down. He said the Minister has explained his case clearly and no need to waste Parliament time on it further. After reading it over and over again, I find this episode not so funny leh. Must need the expert touch of a comedy director to make it sound funny, I think.

Yes Minister! Jack Neo ah, Jack Neo. Where have you been? I have this great idea of a series which can make you very rich. The British have produced a very popular Yes Minister series. And Taiwanese have their movies on how their secret societies schemed to stand for the general election so that they could discuss their business plans openly under the protection of Parliament. Yes, to discuss them openly in Parliament on how to rob the people, their drug business, gambling business etc etc. Why can’t this little red dot have our own version of our Parliament ticking? I am thinking of a series on the witty discussions in our Parliament. All the hilarious jokes that were cracked in Parliament that gave every parliamentarian a good laugh. And these precious gems should be shared with all the common men on the street through a witty Parliament series. I can do the research and be his politikal advisor. I don’t work for free one. Copyright this first. Jack Neo, I chop this series huh. But can discuss the joint venture. You name the place, I choose the time.

Bumiputra means real Malays

Leaders ”Who are not pure Malays” Malaysian son-of-the-soil don’t want leaders who are not pure Malays. Malaysiakini. Sept 10, 2007 By Jamiliah Kassim As an 'anak Melayu jati', I would like to voice out a grievance on behalf of our whole Malay community. In recent years, we can see a lot of 'non-Malays' appearing in Umno as leaders. By ancestry, these people are not pure Malays. They managed to change their identity by using Islam. Clearly, there are loopholes in our laws that allow a person to change his race. This issue must be addressed properly as it affects us, the 'anak Melayu jati'. We know well that these people are not sincere in that they can even disregard and disrespect their ancestors and join the Malay race. Their motive is to enjoy privileges of the Malays. And Umno doesn't bother to do much on this. We are desperate regarding this policy of simply allowing people to change their race through conversion to Islam and even offering citizenship to Indonesians who are later made bumiputeras as well. Where is the standing of the 'anak Melayu jati' or 'bumiputera'? Tell us where on this earth can a person change his or her race through religion except in Malaysia? It is ridiculous. We call upon the Malay rulers to rectify this situation. The word 'bumiputera' is a combination of 'bumi' and 'putera' which should be construed as the 'anak cucu' to this land. The Malay community as a whole is looking forward to a clear definition so as to protect bumiputera special rights in the long run. malaysiakini I copied the above article from littlespeck.com Is this Jamiliah for real? Does he know what he is talking about? Mahathir, Abdullah both are not bumiputras and should not be PMs? What about the royalties? Many have Arab and European blood. So what shall they be? Is the Orang Asli the real bumiputras or the Malay more bumiputra than them? What is this fellow trying to say?

'Hei se hui' - A bad idea

On second thought, this wearing black thing is not a good idea after all. Imaging when there are so many young men and women wearing black and some may be mistaken for being members of a new secret society. Then all it needs is a staring incident and fighting can start. Hei se hui is literary Black Society or meaning secret society in the Chinese lingo. This black shirt thing can become a serious threat to peace. No good, no good. It is worst than mass cycling. Better change to a better colour.