we need a decent forum

why must an uncontrolled forum ended up in a mess? i have seen many forums and found that everyone eventually became a place for forumers to hurl expletives at each other.. profanity seems to be the end result even with highly educated and knowledgeable people. the only forum where forumers chat without ending in a vulgar and personal combat will be those that are controlled.. the channelnewsasia forum is one of such.. and it has quite a good bunch of forumers there, all implicitly accepting the control and living with it.. and they chose for their posts to be vetted and clear by the moderators. this simply proves that a totally unrestrained forum is not the cup of tea for everyone.. and also, a totally free and unrestrained forum cannot exist.. the natural tendency is that it will either turn bad or need to be controlled to remain decent. i am experimenting here to have a forum without rules and that freedom of speech can exist with people chatting together, and not being abused or attacked wildly by other forumers. can such a thing be a reality? can anarchy exist or that it is an idealistic dream? i need all forumers who cherish their freedom of expression to support me in this quest.. to be able to post in a forum that does not need control or to approve postings. is this such a difficult thing to do? all i am asking is a little self restrain by not attacking another person, and not to use expletives and think it is cool.. and not to avoid it and think that it is decent not to do so.. just be natural and expressive and let others be comfortable while chatting with you. lets be a friendly community, disagree and still be on good terms. can there be a safe haven for freedom of expression? i want redbeanforum to be one such place.