Record questions to be asked in Parliament

117 questions will be asked in Parliament on Monday. 31 of these will be asked by opposition MPs and NCMPs. This is 26% of all questions asked by 10% of the MPs. Look at it from another perspective, 90% of the ruling MPs will ask 74% of the questions. Is this material?

Should the people be saying, wow, so many questions asked in Parliament, the MPs are working very hard and making the ministers to work very hard as well? The same kind of question can be asked, we have so many ministers, second ministers, ministers of states, senior and junior, Parliamentary Secretaries and mayors! Whew, how many mayors did we have? Best govt in numbers. Would it be better to have best govt in quality and fewer in numbers?

In number terms, we must be very well run with so many pairs of hands working and so many talents worth their pay in charge. So why have so many questions asked? Either we have too many things that need questioning because things are not right and proper, or there is a competition and a prize for the most questions asked.

We also have so many foreigners here, so they must be contributing a great deal to the economy, or they are taking a great deal from the economy or causing a lot of problems to the country and people.

Is it a case of the more the merrier, more means good, or there is something called quality. A ton of shit would not worth more than a kg of gold surely. Don’t get me wrong, I did not know what they are asking and whether these are serious or very important questions or issues to be raised. I am just saying that numbers do not necessary mean quality stuff, but can be quality stuff. 10 good quality questions can make a lot of difference. I will make an effort to watch the news and read the papers to note the 117 questions to be asked on Monday. I hope every concerned citizen too will be watching too. We know that there are many big issues and some very serious that are affecting the people. Would these be raised in the 117 questions? It would be a big disappointment if none is raised in the barrage of questions tabled.

In case those questions you think are important are not asked, do not be annoyed. Please remember that what is important to you may not be important to them and vice versa. No need to pull your hair or stomp your feet. This is the reality of politics.

Merkel called Obama

 What could the conversation be like when Merkel was so furious over the tapping of her phone by the Americans?

‘My little nigger darling…(giggle)’

‘I like that. I always have this strange sensation and good feeling when you called me that.’

‘Sure you like that? Or you like me to call you something more passionate?’

‘My darling fraulein, I always enjoy our conversation, just between the two of us. Muaark.’

‘Muaark to you too. Now I am supposed to be angry, to yell at you.’

‘Ya I know that, and I like it.’

‘Ok nigger, is your phone tap as well?’

‘Hahahaha, dare the white boys do something like that to me.’

‘Isn’t it the same… that they are tapping mine, and whatever sweet nothing we said would be heard?’

‘Not to worry dear. They will show it to me later and I will tell them, delete, especially the nigger part. Muaark.’

‘You don’t be too sure. That Snowden boy could have a copy.’

‘That is another thing you need not worry about. He is with us. We are planting him in Russia.’

‘Now that’s very cunning of you. No wonder Oliver Stone called you a snake, a black one, very dangerous too.’

‘Oh oh, someone is listening, not one of our boys.’

‘Then must be pommie boys.’

‘Ok let’s cut it off for now. We will arrange for a rendevous again. Or shall I invite you to my ranch?

‘You decide dear. I am yours. Bye nigger boy. Muaark.’

Singapore should say thank you to The Messiah

Yes, he has threatened the govt. But look at it from another angle, his threat so far was just being naughty. The good thing is that it has exposed the vulnerability of our IT network in the whole island. We are so wired, and so helpless to an attack. The success of The Messiah and his anonymous hackers is proof that we have a lot of holes that need patching. A dangerous hackers out to create mischief and to bring down our system could have done so quite easily. We could have had it.

There is also a big danger of playing with numbers especially those in the CPF and the banks’ accounts. The permutation as to what havoc can be caused by entering a system is unimaginable. Names changed or jumbled up, addresses changed, the time needed to debug and to correct all the errors is horrendous.

The other big hole that is being exposed is the high reliance on foreigners to run a large part of our IT systems, both private and public. This is like hiring mercenaries to be our soldiers to guard our country’s national security. With such a pervasive presence of foreigners in charge, in control of our IT systems, all it needs is a small percentage of the foreign legion IT technicians to say yes to a potential trouble maker, and we had it. Unless we are willing to pay them like our politicians, to keep them from corruption or free from bribery and other temptations.

And money is not the only thing that could bend a small group of people to turn against the companies or organisations or our country. In the uniformed services, the key personnel are all security vetted and cleared. Are these IT technicians likewise vetted and cleared? This is not a new development and the dangers have been there for too long. We are lucky that nothing serious happened, or already happened without our knowledge. How many or our sensitive data have been downloaded and carted away while we were sleeping? Do we still dare to fill our uniformed personnel with foreigners like PRs and new citizens?

The threat posed by The Messiah is a rude awakening. We cannot behave like business as usual and a major shake up and upgrading of the industry, hardware and software, and the armies of foreign technicians need to be reviewed. The Trojan Horse is peanut compared to what we have invited into our country and system.

The Messiah came with a wake up call to test our system and cause some red faces at most. Time to move the butts and wipe that silly smile off the face. It is not a laughing matter. The Messiah has shown how naked we are.

Journalists are very well paid today

I have been writing too much rubbish and well deserving of my 2 cups of kopi kau daily. Maybe I should be writing something more high brow, serious and entertaining, maybe they will pay me $10k or $20k for writing the right stuff.

For a Sunday morning I think I shall start to write about my expensive pedigree miniature dog named Poo. After walking the dog for so many months, I came to notice that the poo comes in many textures, like cream puff, coleslaw at times, or Thai meat floss though not that dry. And if lucky, could be like goreng pisang. Can write one page about it.

Or maybe I shall write about the latest underwear, the unisex type, both male and female can get into. It requires great designing skills, if you know what I mean. Or maybe I shall write about the new hobbies, collecting toothpicks like they used to collect match boxes from the pubs and coffee houses.

Really, there are many interesting things to write to be paid handsomely. Collecting boyfriends like collecting mobile phones could be a great topic to write about. It used to be collecting angmoh boyfriends to show off to the aunties. If unable to get an angmoh get a local dud to dye his hair blond also can do, from a distance.

I heard the latest is collecting Indian boyfriends. They are in vogue, with so many maharajahs splurging millions for their weddings here. The local chicks may be lucky to land up with one. Now there is no need to go all the way to India with all the risks at stake. In the safety of this clean city, the rich Indians of the highest caste are available right at our doorstep. Just offer yourself, get close to them and you would be noticed. Make your own chances, improve your chances. The smell and colours of India are here.

I just have so many ideas to write about on a Sunday morning. I am waiting to be offered a $10k job to start writing. Maybe if they like it, they may even offer me $20k. Why would I want to be writing rubbish for two cups of kopi, and to beg for it, and OPM some more.

Isn’t it nice to talk rubbish and smell the roses on a weekend? This morning is a bit wet but still refreshing.

The pastime of beating a taxi driver

The national pastime of beating a Sinkie taxi driver was replayed in the court yesterday. Mason Robert Alford was fined $4,000 and ordered to pay $1,000 compensation by the court for assaulting a taxi driver two years ago. This British is a banking director, the regional head of Asia-Pacific for credit analysis. He is obviously a highly rated foreign talent most sought after by this city of no talents, and probably have been greeted by a red carpet welcome and feasted everywhere he goes, and likely to be surrounded by sarong party girls to make him feel like a raja in this former British colony

Mason Robert admitted to punching Tan Chin Huat, 58, in the face under the influence of alcohol while the taxi driver was trying to send him home safely after his night of merry drinking. Robert and his entourage of great foreign talents have nothing to fear in this land once owned by the British lords. They must know that they are still the masters to the natives. So having a pastime like punching taxi drivers among the expats is a great way to end the night. One for the road, so I bashed up that daft native.

Other than pleading drunkenness, he also pleaded mental disorder and with a medical paper to prove and an eminent lawyer to plea for leniency. With such a brilliant career and track record, and a talent that the city would be trembling in fear to lose for mistreating him, he was fined for a miserable 4000 sinkie dollars. He must be laughing himself sick with his friends in another drinking party. This is truly paradise with a bunch of daft natives at their becks and calls, and acting as punching bags when they needed one.

His mental disorder did not seem to affect his talented work as regional head for the Pacific Region, or it has never been discovered until now. Or maybe that is a pre requisite condition to hold such a senior position. And very likely this mental disorder will go away and he will still be employed in his company and will continue to bask under the tropical sun and celebrated as a true foreign talent here.

Native taxi drivers better buy more insurance against being beaten by foreign talents in the course of their work. It is high risk in a way but great fun to the foreign talents. And no need to worry, more foreign talents are on their way here to meet the 2030 6.9m target that is only for planning purposes. And the foreigners will be happily taking taxis, paying their fares and a $4000 bonus if they feel up to it.