FT as soldiers?

I think it will be a cheaper solution if we offer to the foreign workers and foreign talents a citizenship if they join the SAF. It will cost probably 1/3 what we need to pay to our locals. And the Tamil Tiger brand has been proven to be tough fighters. Don't bet on this as a wild thought. Some day it may happen. The trick is how to prevent them from taking over the country. Insert into everyone of them a self destruct mini bomb with a 3 year time bomb, and the option to blow up at the press of a button. The French have their French Legion of Africans. The British have their Sikh Army, the Sepoys and other Indian Contigents. We have our Gurkhas. A Tamil Tiger Legion?

Letters to the press

Three letters in the Today paper. One claimed that the PTC are not using statistics properly in approving the next bus fare hike. Another claimed that the PTC are not thinking about the elderly and needy who have no income. And a third said HDB was not compassionate enough. If all these claims are true, then it is not funny. Using statistics or using statistics to serve one's ends, that I have just touched a couple of days ago. Use the statistics to serve one's interest. Read the part that fit into your own scheme of things. It has always been like that. It is called the ingenious way of using statistics to benefit oneself. Only the user knows what he is doing. He answers to his conscience. As for the elderly and the needy, they need not worry. There is a $3 million cash fund to help them. At $30 per head, 100,000 of them will stand to benefit. So all these people will be better off than before the fare hike. Now what more can they ask for. Some of them may not even take public transport and may get $30 extra pocket money, that is, if the money gets to them. As for the HDB case, it is a very complicated matter. That one got to leave it to the paid experts to handle.

Trial Episode 2

It was the year 2015. A new party won the general election by fluke. The former ruling party is now in the opposition. The new PM, a gungho never say die joker, more like a loanshark boss, has been sworned in at the Sentosa Casino Resort. They have sold Parliament House and the Istana, and Parliament seating will now be in Sentosa IR. On his maiden speech in Singasong Parliament he gave a 3 hour long speech interjected with humour and wits and the whole parliament was roaring with laughter. In one of his anecdotes he recalled being invited for breakfast during a walkabout. He said, "I ordered mee siam mai hiam.' At this, the whole parliament was in stitches. Then it was silence. He stopped and stared at everyone. 'Why are all of you laughing? I have not come to the punchline yet.' The MPs then realised that there was nothing funny in what he said. This rougish PM may have tattoes all over his body, but he does not like chilli. His mee siam mia hiam is nothing unusual. 'There are only two reasons why you are all laughing. Either you are trying to apple polish me or you are not listening. Don't do that again. Laugh only when there is something funny.' On that note he slammed his files onto the table and stormed out of Parliament. Waiting for someone to polish it up.

Trial Episode 1

Let this parliament be that of a fictional country, call it whatever you like, like Singasong Parliament. Ok, any uncanny resemblance to any events or individuals is only an unintended coincidence. Everything is pure fiction. How's that for a start. Day one Parliament sitting and the Opposition Leader MP, Mr Kow Teck Kho, was the first to speak. He demanded to know why the police rejected his application to visit his constituencies on bicycles was turned down. The Minister of Home Affairs Mr Boh Ho stood up slowly, cleaned his spectacles, and took his time to reply. He said, 'Mr Kow, listen very carefully to what I am going to say. I shall not repeat myself. You are a very well known and charismatic politician. You know what will happen if you cycle around your estate with 30 of your grassroot leaders? People will rush out to hug you and want to shake your hand. And soon there will be a crowd. Traffic jams, accidents can happen. You will create a commotion and public disorder. How can we allow that? Now think carefully about how well meaning was our decision. Thank you.' 'Why are you doing this to me and approve all the other applications? You victimise me or what?' 'Mr Kow, you are different. You are very popular. Like I said, people will rush out to shake your hands. Why am I repeating this? The rest of the MPs are not as popular as you. No one will run out to greet them. So they will not cause traffic jam.' While Mr Kow was trying to jump out from his seat, the Speaker told him to sit down. He said the Minister has explained his case clearly and no need to waste Parliament time on it further. After reading it over and over again, I find this episode not so funny leh. Must need the expert touch of a comedy director to make it sound funny, I think.

Yes Minister! Jack Neo ah, Jack Neo. Where have you been? I have this great idea of a series which can make you very rich. The British have produced a very popular Yes Minister series. And Taiwanese have their movies on how their secret societies schemed to stand for the general election so that they could discuss their business plans openly under the protection of Parliament. Yes, to discuss them openly in Parliament on how to rob the people, their drug business, gambling business etc etc. Why can’t this little red dot have our own version of our Parliament ticking? I am thinking of a series on the witty discussions in our Parliament. All the hilarious jokes that were cracked in Parliament that gave every parliamentarian a good laugh. And these precious gems should be shared with all the common men on the street through a witty Parliament series. I can do the research and be his politikal advisor. I don’t work for free one. Copyright this first. Jack Neo, I chop this series huh. But can discuss the joint venture. You name the place, I choose the time.