Hooliganism, asymmetrical warfare in Parliament

The small number of opposition MPs in Parliament makes their presentation of alternative views difficult to pass through against a well entrenched govt with an over whelming majority, and its well honed tactics of running down the opposition MPs. Some may disagree that the ruling party is bullying the opposition MPs, and that they are just doing what they should be doing as the power of the day when confronted with unpleasant and undesirable questionings. Robust debate so they claimed. Intimidation or no intimidation, insinuations or no insinuation, gangsterism or no gangsterism, everything is there for all to see in the bikini programme called In Parliament. In those brief few minutes, the viewers will still be able to form their own opinions on the happenings in Parliament. Some will clap and some will jeer.

Faced with such lopsided power trained against them, what can the few opposition MPs do to level the battle field? It is not easy to raise an issue without being accused of motive, agenda and bad intention, and may be cut into pieces by cold steely stares or words laced with threats. Opposition MPs may benefit from reading Sun Tzu or Clausewitz to borrow some of the strategies to walk the treacherous ground in Parliament.

Or they could learn from Taiwan or Hong Kong MPs and their tactics of hooliganism, throwing shoes, chairs and microphones at the opposing camps. Keep long hairs like Mr Long Hair of Hong Kong Parliament fame and employ the same rowdy tactics. It would be quite fun to see how the priestly MPs and ministers handle a boisterous gang that would not play by their terms and dictates. But that would be too much to ask from the likes of Chen Show Mao, Pritam Singh or Gerald Giam. Low Thia Khiang would have to buy a wig. Maybe a wig will do for all of them, to throw the priesthood into disarray.

It is ok for hooligans to behave like hooligans and use hooligan lingos. But it is not ok for the priests and monks to behave in the same manner. It will be too unbecoming to do so, to reveal their gangster side of Jekyll and Hyde. That should level the playing field.

Imagine when Shanmugam asked Sylvia Lim if she was insinuating and questioning the integrity of the AGC, and Sylvia retorted, ‘Cut the crap, just answer my question!’ Ling Dong How would be able to do better. Or counter a threat by throwing her stiletto shoes at him. That would be box office material and will go viral for sure. Asymmetrical warfare is possibly the only effective way to deal with priests and lords, and can even be applied to immortals.

How about voting a few long hairs or skin heads into Parliament to deal with the good lords of Parliament? Pun intended. The battle would then be more evenly matched.

PS. I must qualify, and doubly and triply qualify that this is not meant to be a serious article okay? Don’t be like someone saying shoot him and the police were sent to arrest the person when that person did not really mean it, like fxxx you. Relax okay?