10/02/2014

Singapore is the safest place on planet Earth


Many foreigners are so impressed with everything Singapore. Most of all they are bowed over by the safe and secure environment for bring up a family. Young ladies and children can wander home in the wee hours of the night with being mugged, very low drug offences, very low crime. Our safety record is legendary.
 

After the Hong Lim Park Affair, we have another feather on our cap. The Singapore Tourist Board can proclaim to the world that we are the safest place on planet Earth. In this latest event, the parents were so confident of the safety and security here that they had no qualms or reservations to bring their little children to a party in the Park where a political protest rally was being held. They knew that nothing of any violent nature will happen and their children will be absolutely safe. And that was exactly what happened.
And the Park administrators also believe so. They have many experiences allowing different parties with different agenda in the Park at the same time and have been proven to be totally safe. The latest event vindicates their faith and judgement that we are a very safe country.
 

And to make a point, the protestors were made to apologise to the parents for making too much noise that frightened some of the children. And the protestors were truly sorry for interrupting the children’s party. And the Minister that attended the event also apologized as well for this little mishap.
 

And the public were so angry with the protestors for their rough and loud behavior that they chastised them publicly in the main media. This is our standard of social behavior. The protestors in a mass rally must be conscious and mindful of children having parties in the same Park. With this experience I think in future they will lower their voices and shouting when the children are around.
 

So, another new slogan for STB, ‘Singapore is the safest place on Planet Earth’. Come to Singapore for a safe and pleasant holiday with your families and have a good time. Tourists can also go to Hong Lim Park to watch a protest rally with no fear of being hurt. Absolutely safe! And if they are annoyed by the protestors, they can demand an apology from them too.
 

I think this slogan will be 100 times better than F1, and costs nothing except maybe say thank you to redbean for suggesting it.
 

What about the riot? What riot? Oh you mean the Little India Riot. There is nothing to it. The rioters are very nice people. And if you are lucky, they may arrange a tour package if a riot is on for you to have a ringside view of the rioting. Everything is under control and very, very safe. Only slight hitch is that the traffic could be so heavy that you may not be able to get near it. And you would also have to compete with parents wanting to bring their children to watch the riot too. See how safe Singapore is!

Kopi Level - Green

25 comments:

Anonymous said...


We Are The World
We Are The World
We Are The World

Anonymous said...


agreed that Singapore is the
safest place on planet earth...

but, for how much longer...

is our society "HIGH COSTS HIGH
WAGES" model sustainable in long
run.....

worry worry worry .........

Anonymous said...

Sin is indeed very ve...ry safe. The Sinkies are well educated, law abiding, patriotic, kiasi, kiasu and kia chenghoo.
In the HLP Case, a super sound system unfortunately lost out to a loud hailer used by a puny girl. Crowd of thousands felt intimidated by group of tens. That went to show Sinkies were and are very danger and risk averse. Sinkies love peace and safety and need to be loved by their wise leaders. And the Wise Leaders are never stingy with their love and care for them, the People. That why they brought kids with special needs to events with protestors together to make the programmes more enjoyable.
The Day ended up well with more Sinkies getting together and more programmes to enjoy together as well.
We are as peaceful as Hongkie Protestors, just that the Sinkies were, are more mindful of safety, which is desirable.

Anonymous said...

It was a great testimony to see the protest in HLP and not a policeman was present or seen. That is how confident we are of our people not rioting.

Who is fearing who?

Who is the real monster?

Anonymous said...

Singapore is the safest place on planet Earth
RB

Tiok, not 100% but only 93% safe. And only because PAP is the govt.

If the opposition become govt, it will only be 7% safe. Meaning very unsafe.

That's why smart Sinkies, and luckily they are also majority Sinkies, voted PAP.

So if opposition become govt, I will straightaway emigrate, even to Timbuktu. Because Sinkieland will become less safe than Timbuktu.

Anonymous said...

That's why I think Teochew Ah Hia is right when he said majority Sinkies are very scared they accidentally vote PAP out.

Although I hate and even despise Ah Hia for saying this but then he is still right, maybe not 100% but at least 93% right.

Anonymous said...

Sure the tourists feel safe one. You forgot, we have almost 1 million citizens young and old already trained and disciplined in Army, Police, Vigilantes, Civil Defence (some trained by israelis some more). So don't play play. And with many generals and admirals, sure the tourists feel safe one. Nothing to worry one.

Raymond said...

But have you apologized for heckling the children yet?

Anonymous said...



Most Singaporeans do not have
the luxury of "SPARE" time for
activities such as protest,
rioting, etc etc etc even when
they are not happy with the
policies.

What to do? Survival first!

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Raymond, it is not nice for me to scold you or call you silly. What have I got to do with the protest when I was just a spectator? Me to apologise for what? For your stupidity?

You dimwit!

You deserved to be fucked by everyone. But you can't even feel any shame for your stupidity.

Matilah_Singapura said...

At the moment, Singapore is riding high. It rocks awesomely, you can use it as a base to make obscene amounts of money, there is a vibrant "no strings attached" sex scene (please wear condoms), and the rowdy locals are kept in check by an authoritarian govt.

...but all that can change. My philosophy, which I live by: MAKE THE MOST OF IT, and keep some powder dry for "black swan" events that potentially can whack you down.

Presently the greatest risk IMO: Ebola. Infections are spreading quickly. Yet, no one seems to care all that much.

So, be prepared for potentially big fucking news stories and entertainment as hoards of humans scramble to avoid DEATH (always good THEATRE)

Anonymous said...

Wow RB, after " reading this post " and after this " HLP episode ", must really say YEW have done SINKIELAND such a good favour by highlighting it's such high safety and security standard.

People should now onwards feel safe to leave doors and windows open, even at night.

If YEW left your brand new Iphone 6 in a food court during lunch and forgot to take it, YEW will be assured it is still there when YEW made your way back to get it an hour later .......

So safe!

SINKIELAND!

Hew!

Anonymous said...

Part 1:

Rb, YEW just made sinkies realised how lucky they are.

Living in such a fine and safe city.

Everyone in very safe hands, safe paper generals hands and elitist scholars hands.

All so caring, all these LEEDERS. So SELFLESS!

Pay themselves peanuts and lowest salaries in the world but lavish sinkies with the most generous welfare package and social safety net.

Anonymous said...

No policemen but got gangsters leh.

lust for love said...

yes, very safe for the rich and the relatively well-off to live,

but not for the poor, may not be safe to live if things are so expensive that you may be denied off the basic needs

imagine what it will be like, if you're poor and quite sick and you can't afford the medical bills, is it safe for you?

Anonymous said...

Part 2:

Sinkieland is safest bcos LEEDERS are so meticulously handpicked and selected.

All so selfless!

No selfish soul!

No self enriching politicians and money greedy low class, uncivilised parasites who feed on the people's earning and suck them dry like LEECHES!

All squeeze MRT trains and buses to work so sinkies can have more road spaces amd less jam to drive to work.

All the LEEDERS stay in tiny cramped micky mouse 300 sq ft pigeon holes so that sinkies can live in opulence and luxury and enjoy the comfort of a sprawling $80,000 landed good class bungalows.

Where to find such safe hands and selfless LEEDERS on earth?

Sinkies are indeed in a very safe hands and very fortunate.

Anonymous said...

Typo should be $80,000,000

Anonymous said...

Raymond you seow huh! You are the one that needs to apologise. You are the one here heckling RB.

Yew Siew Kia!

Anonymous said...

Part 3:

SINKIELAND is very safe to live in.

No vices in the city.

No gambling.

No casinos.

No red light districts.

No prostitutes.

Any young gal wear short short skirts and low low cut blouse can walk 2 am in Geylang will not be approached or mistaken. Very safe.

The police is king in geylang. No lawlessness! So safe!

The MP for geylang also commended the police on a job well done. So efficient. Oasis within an Oasis. Like Heaven on earth. Very safe.0

Anonymous said...

Mr Red Bean - thanks for your humour. this one you should post in PM blog lah. it is harmless and so complimentary of our citizens. enjoy your humour and its really funny while there is so much true to it.

Anonymous said...

Part 4

Environment lagi good.

SINKIELAND is a garden city.

The paper generals and elitist scholars so kind and angel hearted they NOT ONLY take care of oldies, they also built a gigantic dome costing billions to take care of lizards, insects and plants from far far away land.

Tourists all walked away so impressed and so touched all queuing to apply for pink IC and red passports. Such a safe and fine city and so kind hearted generals who even spent billions to look after lizards where to find?

SINKIELAND is so good YEW can't find any beggar in the streets, any oldies rampaging rubbish bin for soft drink metal cans and cardboard to sell for a meal. No way YEW can find 60+, 70+, 80+ oldies doing back breaking menial jobs clearing utensils, waste food, clearing and cleaning tables at food courts, coffee shops, hawker centres and standing long hours doing their jobs or washing thousands and thousands of dishes day in day out. Cannot be. Lizards also already take care and spend millions every month to maintain. Where got dun take care human or oldies. Cannot be oldies worst than insects or pests right. Whoever claim have poor health oldies still working must be liar, see wrong, blind, mud jiu ( eyes ) Tuck ( paste ) LUI ( dollar notes).

SINKIELAND very fine city.

Its a city heaven made on earth. COURTESY OF hard working, low pay, thrifty, every meal eat salted egg, porridge, salted fish politicians and very generous on the people.

Very safe city.

Best in the world.

Best governance!

YEW put together WORLD DREAM TEAM of XI JIN PING, OBAMA, MERKEL, CAMERON, ABE, HOLLANDE, PUTIN etc etc also cannot match them.

SINKIES SO FORTUNATE.

Somemore cheaper than a world DREAM TEAM put together.

Why to find?

YEW say tio bor?

Pls KEE CHIU?

Talking about environment, that is the best in the world. Garden city.

Whole city like garden. The flowers smell so good it kills and drive away all mosquitoes.

So the CITY is so safe YEW will NEVER GET KISSED by any mosquitoes and get DENGUE!

NO WAY!

YEW are talking about super scholars, stars studded generals, who are lowly paid but deliver the best performance! Sinkies VERY LUCKY to have such selfless and altruistic BEANS who sacrifice so much to serve in public service.

b said...

Safe not the safest place. Once an epidemic disease starts to spread, those country with the high population will be the first to be affected. Furthermore, the haze is another issue with no solution todate.

Anonymous said...

Part 5:

The next safest thing in SINKIELAND is water.

Newer than new NEWATER.

Fresher than the spring water from the HIMALAYAS.

WHY?

Bcos this NEWATER DUN PRAY PRAY!

ITS source is even more majestic than the HIMALAYAS!

Its source is the tallest mountain in SINKIELAND, taller than bt timah HILL.

Perhaps the " tallest " in the entire universe.

The safest water source in the universe!

Its called the "HUMANLAYERS"!

LAYERS AND LAYERS OF HUMAN SEWERAGE RECYCLED, GENIUS BRAIN CHILD OF YEW KNOW WHO.

If YEW bother to drop by any GASTRO dept or specialised clinics in all the hospitals such as the one at Basement Blk 2 SGH, there are hardly any patients there during office hours on weekdays. GENIUS PROOF OF The NEWER THAN NEW NEWATER. The safest water to drink in the WHOLE UNIVERSE.

FRESHER AND SAFER THAN THE SPRING WATER FROM THE HIMALAYAS.

SIMPLY THE BEST!

NEWATER FROM HUMANLAYERS!

THE BIG BROTHER OF HIMALAYAS!

Freshest water recycled from layers and layers of thick human sewerage water!

Dun YEW think is the safest water to drink in the WHOLE world?

HUMANLAYERS NEWATER?

ANYONE?

PLS KEE CHIU?

Anonymous said...

Part 6

Yet another BERY BERY safe component in this sinking sampan society is employment.

Under this Pro Alien Prostitutes and the sat buay sak act garang MOM-MY BOY, middle age PMEs jobs are.confirmed very safe. The hordes of PMEs turned taxi drivers, sootkiokurity guts, hawkers etc are confirmation of the fair employment of the MAGIC WORK of this useless and hopeless and dynasty-ending MOM-MY BOY. Mb should change name to DOWAGER-BOY. Same as Empress Dowager. Ended the Qing Dynasty. Really KNS!!!

Anonymous said...

第七条:

辛刻兰(SINKIELAND) 另外一个非常安全的方面是价格或生活费.

昂贵的商品与服务让人民感觉非常安全可喜可乐.

未来充满希望.

一个没有未来的希望.