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8/01/2012

My grandfather’s company




My grandfather’s company is the place for happy people. All the employees are absolutely happy, at least in their pay and bonuses. There are so many MDs that I have lost count. And there are more presidents than the country has. We have no problem creating good and high value jobs and every talented employee will be promoted to MDs and presidents in double quick time. Money is never an issue. My grandfather pays for it. Just don’t ask where my grandfather finds the money.

I know that many eager beavers are waiting in a long queue to join my grandfather’s company. But sorry to say, employment is by invitations only. And being my grandfather’s company, a little purple blood will make entry and promotion that much faster. My grandfather loves that kind of things.

And there is never short of cash. So promotion is always a happy and easy thing to do. And if any MD or president is not too happy with his or her pay, my grandfather will just add a few more appointments in the name cards, and the unhappy employee will walk away merrily.

Nobody wants to leave my grandfather’s company once they have joined. And we have a policy of not firing anyone. How could that be when everyone is so talented, so devoted and so self sacrificing? My grandfather’s company is the best company in the Top 100 companies of the world. It is a dream company.

31 comments:

The said...

Erm, I am very tempted to join this company, I have white shirts, but I don't own any white pants - so how?

Anonymous said...

Sigh..i only have PINK shirts

Anonymous said...

Your grandfather Comany is good to employees but no good for consumers. They pay and pay but get no benefit.

Let someone else run the Company for awhile and maybe both employees and consumers could be happy togather, as one entity.

Anonymous said...

Who cares about consumers? As long as the top employees are happy with their millions, no need customers.

The stock market is one good example. It will go on rocking without customers, and business getting better with more profits some more. Isn't that brilliant?

jjgg said...

RB..and the fat cats keep getting fatter..we must have,per capita,the biggest public service in the galaxy...quick quick...better create more problems so that we invent more problem solvers...come to think of it...why not...ministry of problem seeking and another ministry for problem solving...hehe

Anonymous said...

time to split the grandfather's company into two companies.

One company wear white shirts.
2nd company wear blue shirts.

Anonymous said...

Terrible place,some many inept and incompetent people's fortune depended on just one family

Anonymous said...

BTW,how did grand father become so rich?how/where did he get the capital?Hope he can employ more people and make more people happy.

Anonymous said...

Grandfather was a bandit.

Anonymous said...

My grandfather's company surely is the best.

Why ? Because the company's top management team, with all the CEO, chairman, SVP of finance, operation etc can happily falsified the account books for more than two decades, declaring that the business is profit from sale of 17% return which in turn net these high-ranking management millions in bonus and benefits. No question is asked on how this is possible when on the ground the sale is perceived as very bad, and company is losing money to competitors and bad investment, and all close their eyes as long as they get millions, only the lowest rank complain why they never receive such wonderful bonus. After more than two decades, truth is uncovered that in fact the business has been so poor, and only 3.9% return had been made all along. Still, these management happily restate as 3.9% and case move on, and life continues as usual. No investigation of fraud, no accountability, no responsibility, and no transparency. Indeed my grandfather's company is a heaven on earth.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hi Anon 5:06,

This is definitely not my grandfather's company.

Anonymous said...

It is like how a church is run. One man sitting at the pinnacle of the temple Te,king people what to believe. The rest must be brain dead for the church to work.

Unquestioning faith or trust in their leaders if you want to stay in the "family"

Anonymous said...

...telling people what to believe...l

Matilah_Singapura said...

As long as your grandfather's company is PRIVATE, the owners can do anything they like with it.

Got OWNERSHIP?

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should tell us that your grandfather's company also employ people to tell grandmother's stories.

Anonymous said...

Now, it looks like our PM needs a female minister in his office to hold his hand as well.

Jiat Lak! Habis lah!

Gintai_昇泰 said...

RB,
I'm just curious to know if Your Grandfather's company is sometimes also called "Ah Gong's company". I heard that Ah Gong recently spent $2,200 for a foldable bicycle for each of it's total 22 guards patrolling the premises round the clock. Total cost is about $52,800 just to make the guards happily performing their work cuz security is of utmost importance. In that sense, Ah Gong says its money we'll spent and justified when all the cleaners and sweepers are earning less than $800 a month.
I have stopped reading Shitty Times, so I'm not sure if I heard it correctly. I would really appreciate if your good self or your readers here could enlighten me! Thank you in advance.

Divali said...

Gintai:

[SLEAZE AND CORRUPTION - Scandals exposed flaws in our system]

http://stprdfeeds.straitstimes.com/premium/forum-letters/story/scandals-exposed-flaws-our-system

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hi Gintai, for a moment I thought there was an infringement of copyrights. Quite similar but not that similar. Ah Kong's company is Grandfather's company. My Grandfather's company is 'My' Grandfather's company. My Grandfather's company is corruption free and scandal free.

It is just a fantasy company. No relation to Ah Kong's company.

Anonymous said...

Redbeans' grandfather company was so good that it will soon join his grandfather in heaven.

Amen.

patriot

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

I forgot to explain. My grandfather printed his own money to pay his staff. And if not enough, I will burn more for him.

This is the secret. That is why he can go on happily promoting and paying his top staff with no budget constraints.

Divali said...

Gintai:

[Brompton Saga Rehashed]

- "Did I jump the gun? I don't think so," that's what the man said. Well, in the light of facts on hand, we beg to differ. We don't need Yaacob Ibrahim's Media Literacy Council to teach us how to read between the lines, our netizens are doing very well, thank you. -

http://singaporedesk.blogspot.sg/2012/08/brompton-saga-rehashed.html

Anonymous said...

"Did I jump the gun? I don't think so,", unquote.

The man went with the bullet and smashed himself.

BANG! Kaput.

The said...

No, the gun jumped ahead of you - it went off by itself - cooked off.

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