6/25/2007

nice idea

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency May 10, 2007: Washington, DC (AP) -- Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1, 2007. The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that the office has incurred during the last 5 y ears. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge. " stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay." Reynolds noted. Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of President as of July 1, 2007. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but no health coverage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily a t night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush had never been familiar with the issues either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about." Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

another great quotation

S'poreans need to learn how to stretch their savings: Lim Swee Say What does this statement mean? I think it makes a lot of sense. With 30 to 40% of their money saved, and very safe, in the CPF, Singaporeans should learn how to stretch whatever left that they have. Or else if what they have in hand are gone and money in CPF still very safe, they will have a little problem meeting their immediate needs. But I think many Singaporeans are already stretching their savings, if not an expert in it. When prices are going up ahead of salaries, they will be in big trouble if they do not know how to stretch their money. For those who still do not know how, they may want to ask the minister for some advices and ingenius ways to stretch their dollars.

It is my money

When would Singaporeans start to ask the ministers in public dialogue sessions that the CPF money is their hard earned money and not to be managed against their wishes? It would be nice if they ask the minister, 'Mr Minister, Sir, what makes you think you can decide whatever you want to do with OUR money?' And if the minister says that they have been elected by the people to decide what is good for them during the general election, then the people should accept it as they are the one who elected the ministers and MPs to Parliament. It was their choice, their right to decide who they want to represent them in Parlaiment. Having cast their votes, they have to live with their choices. And for those who did not get to vote or voted against, just too bad. This is the system, and this is our democracy.

Another frivolous pursuit

An 86 year old auntie signed on the dotted line to pay $52k for a slimming regime and her daughters are crying foul. Should they or are they being unreasonable? The auntie is not of unsound mind and wants to look slim and pretty. She was not coerced to sign and pay. She did it with eyes open wide wide. The daughter are complaining to CASE for a refund. Hey, it is caveat emptor. Or should we expect a slimming centre to tell a 86 year auntie that she shouldn't waste her money at her age? Is it the duty of a commercial slimming centre not to sell their products? They are there to promote and sell their products for profit. And if there is no misrepresentation, then there is no foul. Quite frivolous in all ways.

The St John Hospital case

This is simply a case of a CEO being underpaid. so he helped himself to the money to adjust his own pay. All the charity organisations should quickly do a salary review and make sure that their employees, especially the mangement teams, are amply rewarded at market rate. They can chose to peg themselves with other big charity organisations. How can they forgot about how Singapore or Singaporeans tick? Money and more money if they are to prevent such things from happening.