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1/06/2013

Force to get married for a flat




Disappointed relatives and a mortified Ken demanded to know if there was a “third party”. Yes there was!

You could put it like this – the third party was HDB. I feel like I was forced to decide to get married early because if I waited until I was, say, 30 and ready to settle down, to wait another three to four years to get a BTO flat would leave me no time to start a family. Everyone told me that Ken and I had to hurry up and apply for a flat together and then quickly get married once the flat application was successful,” said Janice, who just started work as an accountant last year….

Marriage counsellors here say Janice is not alone. All three marriage counsellors Yahoo! Singapore spoke to said that cases of young women and men backing out of marriage at the last minute are on the rise by as much as two times in the past two years – and most cases were because they were not ready but were forced to commit in order to secure a home in advance.
Says Mdm A. De Souza, 42, who, with her husband, has been counselling couples for ten years at a religious organization:…

I would say that I am now seeing at least double the number of such troubled brides. It used to be that most of them split up just before because of third party issues or quarrels over financial matters, but now it’s always “I wasn’t ready” and “I felt forced because of my flat”.
It’s a serious problem – these young people are so worried about practical concerns like getting a home that they neglect the most important question – are they emotionally prepared?

The above is extracted from Runaway brides in Singapore: Janice’s story (part 1).

This is a very serious development that the super talents obviously have missed out. The public flat, or housing, is such a crucial factor in the lives of Sinkies that they are being forced to do things, make very important life decisions, compromise their lives, all because of the housing policies. Housing must not become the sole determinant of the people’s lives and squeezing so much money from the people. It is a very bad policy.

This is the same as the having more baby policy. It discards all the good reasons for having babies but focussed on the babies as another digit to the big economic growth formula. The policy makers just ignore the interests of the parents and the babies, their financial and psychological problems in having babies. Just have babies because the Govt wants more babies for economic growth.

And for housing, which is a major responsibility of the Govt, it arrogantly took the position that it could do whatever it wants, dictate to the people, and make the people go crazy, begging to have the chance to buy a public flat at all cost. Their welfare and well being are not a consideration to the Govt. You want a flat, you play by all the sick rules they made.

How’s that for paying millions for super talents in charge of your lives, to mess up your lives and squeeze as much money as they can from you? Getting married not because the people wanted to or are ready for it, but because of a flat! Making babies not because they want to or have the financial resources and mental state of mind to want to have babies, because the Govt says so!

The people are being reduced to numbers and objects of the economy, not living human beans.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are the PAP.
We are here to serve Singaporeans!

ROFL.

jjj2usg said...

WE KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. WE SAY YOU DO!!! We are like kids or dafts???? sad..... :(

agongkia said...


Another young couple who dun know what is love.Before arrival of BTO flat,one could have meet another man who has landed property or with a more stable income and decide to run away .
Flat not ready can stay with parent.
Why must young couple move out when getting married.No flat cannot get married?
Not a good excuse.Naughty girl.

Anonymous said...

agongkia you very gon. How to make love if stay with parent? No sound so fun leh.

Anonymous said...

agongkia you very gon. How to make love if stay with parent? No sound no fun leh.

Anonymous said...

Why must be so difficult. Since the "stop at two" policy was so effective. The PAP government can just reverse the policy and use the same method but to punish the couples who have less than 2 children.

Matilah_Singapura said...

I tjust goes to show how mercenary people can be, simply to satisfy their own narrow, corrupt self-interest -- and they don't mind hurting people's feelings or living a lie, just to get some "material gain" fueled by a relentless ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY.

Fuck, thee sick, emotionally-warped people deserve each other.

The best part: because of their lack of character, moral grounding and self-reliance (just for starters), they've fallen for the govts psychological manipulation.

With complete and utter lack of shame fro their shoddy behaviour and neurotic thinking -- they now claim to be "victims" -- blaming everyone, and the government for their lot.

No one is "forced" to buy a flat. The only "force" present is internal -- in the mind -- that kiasu-kiasi part telling you to compromise all common sense, reason and your moral compass -- to lie and deceive YOURSELF and other simply because you're worried about not "owning" (leasing) a motherfucking HDB.

And the "counselors" dispense their "wisdom" from a religious organisation? FUCKING HELL. Myth-believing wankers handing out "advice" about life. Comedy gold lah!!

Got reap what you sow?

Anonymous said...

All the reasons given in the MSM about why young people do not get married avoided the issue of HDB.

Just goes to show that Singaporeans and the Government are diametrically different on important issues and do not talk on the same wavelength. In fact I can sense that the rulers and the ruled are drifting further and further apart.

What are they discussing really when talking about National Conversation? Obviously to listen but not to hear.

Anonymous said...

January 06, 2013 2:51 PM> if cannot blame the gov then the gov also cannot blame the people and demand the people to do this and that.

women questioned whether the guys married them for love or for hdb cos women bloody know that a marriage based on hdb is very empty and sad. many sg men are just too blur to understand how to love a woman properly.

Anonymous said...

/// ... many sg men are just too blur to understand how to love a woman properly. ///

True.
Just ask Michael Palmer.

Anonymous said...

Before AIM:
PAP asked Singaporeans "Where is the money going to come from?"

After AIM:
Singaporeans ask PAP 'Where is the money going to?"

Matilah_Singapura said...

@anon 744:

>> many sg men are just too blur to understand how to love a woman properly. <

That's bullshit and you know it. Love is universal -- any 2 human beings can connect that way - we're biologically wired for "pair bonding".

...but real love (you notice I don't use the term "true love") requires the parties involved to do many things...2 of the most important are probably HONESTLY and TRUST.

How can you trust someone who is dishonest with the way they feel about you? That is a real bad, and CRUEL basis for a relationship.

All this facade for a mere GOVERNMENT flat? A better strategy would be to surrender to real love together, and tough it out as a team -- no matter how hard the "challenge" appears to be.

What a great basis to build families and a society huh? Couples bullshitting to each other that they love one another. Good luck with the children: they have to grow up living a lie. These kids will probably suffer awful psychological problems...even if the family doesn't collapse into a shit-heap of dysfunction.

Shameful!!

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