Where is my gold?

Ah Gong struck Toto and a $3m windfall. His problem started when news of his good fortune spread to all his relatives. He did not trust the banks. He decided to buy $2m worth of gold bullion, and his first problem of safe storage began. He could not possibly keep them under his bed in his HDB flat. Then came his rich First uncle who offered to put the gold bullion in his company’s big safe. Who could be safer if not his uncle, and also very rich.

For many years Ah gong was pleased with his gold bullion in the safe of his First uncle. He could sleep in peace, with a perpetual smile printed on his face. He started to become suspicious when he told his First uncle what he intended to do with his gold when he retired. What he did not know was that his First Uncle had lost heavily in the casinos. He still looked very rich, throwing his money around like he got plenty of it.

Things took a bad turn when his First uncle told him his office was broken in and his gold bullion was gone. His life savings for retirement and all the beautiful plans vanished in thin air. Ah Gong was lost and in despair. Then came a little hope. The robbers offered to return his gold for $2m. Ah Gong’s gold was worth more with the prices of gold crossing the $1,000 mark. He bought it much lower.

Ah Gong was not very clever, just an average citizen and could easily be conned by the clever robbers. His First uncle brought with him his smarter 3rd uncle, a professor. He told Ah Gong this 3rd uncle could negotiate with the robbers for a lower sum and the return of his gold. Ah Gong was so grateful. Don’t ask me why the robbers were willing to trade $5m worth of gold bullion for less.

Anyway, the story had a happy ending. The clever 3rd uncle came back with a very good deal. Ah Gong could have his gold back for $1m, a 50% discount. And the rich First uncle volunteered to pay first since Ah Gong did not have the cash. See how helpful First uncle was and how grateful Ah Gong would be for the return of his gold, only had to pay $1m and saving $1m. Happy like fart.

The moral of the story is that Ah Gong was very happy and grateful with the new deal. Didn’t know if he was conned. The First uncle was very happy for obvious reasons. The 3rd uncle just shared some goodwill and be greatly appreciated for his talent and negotiating skills. Now he walked around looking even smarter. And Ah Gong continued to put his gold bullion in the safe of his First uncle. The uncle assured him that the gold would be safe as he had installed a new security system. The money would be very safe with him. Who else to trust than ‘kaki lang’, and very rich some more? Ah Gong had a good deal.

I rather have my gold under my bed.


Anonymous said...

Would this gongkia ever see his gold again?

agongkia said...

Many gongtuatais out there gonger and getting gongerer than Ah Gong.
3 million can do wonder .Why invest in gold.
For me I will hug more mei meis and produce many children.
One cannot bring gold along when he is gone.
At least one can have a long queue of off spring to send him off on his grand day.
Those greedy one deserve to lose their investment of gold.
(how come my comment appear twice lately when i only click once.)

Anonymous said...

Don't worry. Your gold is safe.
4th uncle is an insurance agent.
He will teach you how to buy the "corect' insurance policy to ensure you will always have gold to pay for your medical bills.

Anonymous said...

And Ah Gong continued to put his gold bullion in the safe of his First uncle.

Looks like Ah Gong is more daft than ordinary Sinkies.

Because smarter ordinary Sinkies think it is better in their interest if they can withdraw all their CPF money, despite keeping in CPF as min sum earns higher interest.

And despite all this, Ah Gong did not smell any rat and still put his gold bullion in the safe, although unlike CPF min sum money, he has the choice to take out all his gold bullion. Really daft.

Anonymous said...

The good people of Mr Chua's blogland still didn't get it. Meanwhile the conning continues in Sinkland.

Anonymous said...

Ya I still don't get it. Can you tell me how not to get conned ?

Anonymous said...

Heard that during Thaipusam
procession drums or music
are not allowed.

If this is true, will they
very soon stop the drumming
at the Lion Dance performances?

We will then have silent Lion

Very very funny indeed.


Anonymous said...

Moral of story is Ah Gong still has the freedom to where to his gold.
Sinkies continously choose the people to would tell them where to put their gold- by hook or crook

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hi Anon 2:02. Can please retype your comments? A bit difficult to get what you wanted to say.

Anonymous said...

Wow what a great story. Got anymore to share. Problem is only 40% understd the story. So how?

Anonymous said...

Tell Ah Gong to put his money in the CPF lah! Some people may not understand the moral of your story.

Anonymous said...

I went for a walk and ended up in lah lah land. Con Hee Fatt Choy 2 u all in lah lah island.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

In my whole life, never heard of banning of drums in Thaipusam. Is this something new?

Anonymous said...

You have the first uncle who is the custodian, the third uncle who is the negotiator, the fourth uncle who is the risk manager and insurance dude, but don't forget the second uncle who is the auditor who would check whether the gold is still there and the fifth uncle who would this time help to draft something to make it legal though not sure in the interest of which person. Don't forget sixth uncle who would once a while get c committee together to recommend new rules too. I am sure he has other uncles who are talented to offer other services, tio Bo?

Anonymous said...

Yes there is the seventh uncle who is a valuer who would valued the worth of gold as days passed

agongkia said...

Strike toto is a windfall.cpf is a tax.
Just wonder why many keep thinking cpf is a windfall.Keep on dreaming.

agongkia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Ya eight uncle is the tax manager providing tax planning advice to him and nineth uncle is a banker that provide hedging services for him in the event of big drop in gold price. See it's better to keep the money in cpf more straight forward mah, tio Bo?

Anonymous said...

Ban on the drum? Solution - bang on a gong.

b said...

Everything is a con scheme. Never trust anyone. Ask lots of questions, proof and verification.

Anonymous said...

Yes, did not know and don't understand why singing and playing small drums during Thaipusam once a year for a couple of hours is banned. There are some weddings at the HDB void deck during weedends that blare out music the whole day loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear. The singers howling off-tune is really painful to the ear. Yet this is not banned.

patriot said...

All the Uncles get blamed in the Story.
They could be victins of their mistresses for all You know.
The Meimei Experts here should be able to provide their expert knowledges of schemes and scams. After all behind every successful man, there is always an intimate loving supporter in a mate. Many a strongman also fell victim to vixen.



Virgo 49 said...

Simple, just have a change of the person in charge which is yourself.

Just tell first uncle fork off I be my own master.


So just have complete change of government and as according to the fixed deposit tenure, honour tge agreement at age 55.

After which up to us whether to inject as new funds for better returns or not

just like my daft spouse deposit in UOB and auto renewal of FD at 0.25 % per annum.

Other banks offered 1.55 and she said no need to change.


Anonymous said...

In my whole life, never heard of banning of drums in Thaipusam. Is this something new?
RB 3:53 pm

No lah, I think there is something new about the police. Or rather is the police new to it? Or is the police new Sinkies or contracted staff? Because it is hard to get local Sinkies to be police or nurses, u know.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Ok, heard Iswaran said last night that the ban was imposed since 1973 because there were fights between competing drum groups.

Matilah_Singapura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matilah_Singapura said...

@ RB

>> I rather have my gold under my bed.

Hopefully in a good, strong bullion safe ;-)

Point is this: Your LIFE, Your BUSINESS---meaning that it is entirely up to you to look after your own best interests---especially the ones relating to personal finance, economics and security.

Don't blame the govt for fucking up your finances. You trusted them lah. The management of their own funds is already questionable (private sector laughing at these fuckers), and still there are people who EXPECT the govt to look after their economic lives and financial "nest egg".

Are you fucking retarded?

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

What do you mean their funds are questionable? They are making plenty of good investments and making a lot of profits for themselves. Wait for them to announce more bonuses for 15% returns or economic growth then you will them laughing, all the way to the bank.

Anonymous said...

Crap face is back. Stink is in the air. Crap face is baaaack.

Anonymous said...

Not only crap face is back. Stinking and shameless IBs are also back.

Matilah_Singapura said...

@ paranoid douchebags 1155 & 124:

Baby Got Back!