If I am the PM

I know this is as good a talking nonsense. No one can dream of becoming a PM unless he takes the first step to join a political party and become an Indian chief of a political party. I have not joined any political party so thinking of becoming a PM is academic. But it is quite fun really, to talk cock once a while. Many people did that. So let’s talk about this daydreaming.

Let’s say suay suay all the parties become minority parties and need to form a coalition govt but cannot agree on who to be PM. Then they look around for someone neutral and call Redbean to stand in as the PM. So I am the PM. I would want to be the most righteous PM, most caring PM, most pro Singapore PM, not necessary pro Singaporeans. I would like to even add, the most religious PM but that would only insult the religion that I professed to believe in. So I pass this one. I am no good and I have no religion so no need to pretend to be religious and spoil the good name of the religion.

OK, I must think Singapore first, always think Singapore first. This is not the same as the Singapore First Party. The latter thinks and wants to care for Singaporeans. I want Singapore to do well, to prosper, to grow into a vibrant and rich country at all cost. And to do that, it must have very good and clever people with the right qualifications and experience to govern the state.

I will start with the President. I will make the criteria for this appointment very stringent. Remember, he holds the second key to our reserves. So not anyone can offer himself as candidate to be President. See, I set very high standard for a good President to look after our reserves. He must have excellent credentials and experience in managing big money. I think someone in the finance industry like CEO of GIC, Temasek or DBS would qualify. Anything less no good. The President is all about guarding the reserves of the state so I think it is good to limit to finance people, top bankers and top fund managers. The rest no need to apply. Oh, PM and Finance Minister exempted, automatically qualified.

As for the politicians, MPs and ministers, they better be qualified or have knowledge on how to run a country. Yes, yes, they must know how to run a Town Council for a start, a prerequisite. But that is elementary. They must know the meaning of running a country and must be qualified or trained in government. Just because a person is a lawyer or doctor or engineer, or a general, does not make him good enough. Running a country means knowing everything, from being in the govt to running clans, trade unions, sports clubs and charity organizations. To be able to do these jobs, to become a ‘knows all’, they must have a degree in govt.

NUS and NTU must conduct a degree course on govt and anyone wants to stand for election to be in Parliament must have such a degree. You think running a govt is masak masak and any Tom, Dick and Harry with all kinds of unrelated qualifications and experience can just walk into Parliament and start to run a country. Cannot right? I am the PM so I decide what is best. I may even try out a candidate to catch rats. If cannot catch rats then not good enough. To me, since I am the PM, I regard catching rats very important, more important than running Town Council. Who is there to say I am being difficult?

Ok, exceptions. All incumbent MPs and ex MPs can be exempted from this degree course. They got experience mah. The new rule would apply to new politicians to be. As the new PM, I want to raise the bar to make sure only good people with the right experience and qualifications can stand for election.

See, I think only good for Singapore. Singapore will be very good, will go on forever and be prosperous forever under my premiership.

Agree or not? My conditions good or not?

Ok, Ok, I daydreaming only and pretending to be good PM.


Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Actually I am expecting someone to say just because you are the PM you can anyhow set silly conditions as you like. You think this is your grandfather's country ah?

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that it is
good to be able to day-dream!

Keep it up!


Anonymous said...

If I were the PM, I will ask the Generals to go back to their camps and do not meddle with civilian affairs.

The said...

Keep going, you are almost there...

You will rope in all the paper generals and paper admirals into the party.

You will cover the bases by controlling NTUC and co-opting some of your members there and vice versa.

You will make sure that are the universities are under your control.

You will make sure that the MSM are all controlled by you, never mind that they became ranked 153rd, worse ranking than Ethiopia, Myanmar, Burundi, Bangladesh, Malaysia and Russia.

I will divest the running of town councils from HDB/EMS to the MPs and set up all sorts of landmines.

I will reduce the top tax brackets of the super-rich and introduce GST to tax everyone, especially the poor who do not pay income tax.

Wait a minute -- this is beginning to look familiar.

RB - are you sure you do not belong to a Particular Anonymous Party?

Anonymous said...

if I m PM I will not sing Teresa
teng song "the moon represents my

but I will sing the song by the beetles.....

"Let It Be"

at all my public functions.......

Virgo49 said...

No need to go for political degree lah Mr RB!

From the time the PAP became the government, all the MPs all swore to protect the Constitution and serve the people. See?? Most of them just nod nod their heads and yes men.

Where got bring up issues that affect the lives of the ordinary citizens??

Know how to bolek and attack koo the Opposition with the backing of their Ministers.

Real First World Parliament, even ruling party MPs voted "NAY" against any policies if they felt that is against their conscience to do so.

Not talk talk and when voting time- never see their faces.- Chabok


Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hahahah, I am learning how to be a good and responsible politician that cares for the well being of Singapore.

agongkia said...

//cares for the well being of Singapore.//

Please lah Uncle.You got no interest to have concubine.You dun allow me/men to marry more wives to produce many children and do not support polygamy.
Want to be pm must think out of the box and do something different.Whats wrong in having more wives?
Good in telling story only.
Pm oso can tell good story.I rather listen to his story .
Can motivate me work harder ,not those kpkb type.
How to vote you as pm lah.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

When did I oppose you from having more wives? BTW, you don't need my approval or consent to have more wives, please do as you please. I don't have to test you to see if you are a good man or a bad one. Not my problem.

agongkia said...

Thanks Uncle RB for not opposing.But if you never approve or change law, your khakia will still charge me for bigamy leh.

OK.You have prove that you are willing to listen,interact and never threaten to 'shoo' me.
For that I wish you fulfill your dream.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Shoo, shooo, quick, go to Geylang. You may bring Matilah along.

Great Dreamer said...

If I am PM of Sin City, I will let my people enjoy all the sins they like. As for those who deem themselves to be very religious, I will let them to become monks, priests and nuns.

If I am PM of Singapore, I will make myself the President, following the US System. The Present President who only good for holding the 2nd Key to the Reserve, which could be already empty, I would retire him off and abolish this expensive post of a Jia Liao Bee President.

If I am Pm of Sinkie Land, I will wake up all the daft Sinkies and make them write one million lines each on:

"I must not be daft and stupid any more."

Those who refuse to write the lines, especially the filthy rich and the spoilt brats, I will send them to Changi Prison or ISD Detention Centre for Treason, and confiscate all their wealth and redistribute them to the poor.

How, like that? Good dream or bad dream?

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hi Great Dreamer, welcome to the blog.

Many countries deposited their gold with the Americans and kept in Fort Knox. I dunno how many keys they have to protect the gold from being stolen. But it is now an open secret that there is no gold in the safe in Fort Knox.

And the Fort is still heavily guarded as if all the gold is there.

Anonymous said...

Hi RB, if you become PM of this little red dot, I will give up my British Passport and apply for a Singapore passport. speed

Anonymous said...

If I am the PM .... I would have died of shame a long time ago.
... sorry ... I mean I would have committed hara kiri a long tiem ago.

Honour: the quality of knowing and doing what is morally right

Anonymous said...

If I am PM, I will abolish CPF.
It's time to return money back to its rightful owners.

Anonymous said...

If I am the PM, I would help the poor & needy.
Because the rich have enough money to take care of themselves.

Anonymous said...

You have just disqualified Ronald Reagan?

Anonymous said...

rb, thank you for giving me a good laugh! when i started reading your post i thought you were serious. then when i carried on reading i realized you were making a joke. it's like meeting a mad person for the first time. at first everything seems normal then when the conversation continues you realize the bugger is nuts! you are the art buchwald of singapore.

Anonymous said...

If I am PM;
I would want my mee siam without the hum.

Anonymous said...

RB has disqualified a lot of people to keep everything for himself and his cronies in his PM role.

Matilah_Singapura said...

If I were PM, I would occupy Batam and Johor and turn them into US Naval bases, defended by US Marines.

Then sit back and enjoy the fun :-)

Matilah_Singapura said...

P.S. I would set up my office in Geylang and appoint agongkia as deputy PM ;-)