7/02/2007

Brazen challenge on modesty

Below is a post submitted by a forumer. On Saturday 30 JUN 2007 @ about 1045 am, i met my client a SIN PR @ East Coast hawker centre. My client chose a seat (4person away from a Singaporean man) on same long bench. After buying coffee, i joined my client on the table. That man turned towards my client and said somewhat in this manner " Excuse, my wife is coming back here, can you put your legs down...it is not nice." My client was in his shorts & running shoes and i noted he was cross-legged while seated opposite me. My client was shocked and so was i. My client muttered, "there is nothing indecent here .." I added to the man " there is nothing indecent here.. you are acting out of jurisdiction..." My client insisted i carry on our conversation on the property and not to be distracted. In fact, i wanted to address the man again, but my client said to ignore him, which i did as we had important issues to talk about the property. The man man drove off first while me & my client continued our discussion in the car-park. The crux of issues was,... i do not think my client was acting indecently by crossing his leg which is very common. Besides it was a hawker centre not an air-con restaurant. Besides it is Saturday, it is encouraged that we do sports and take regular exercises. Neither was my client out of syn in his choice of running short. It was a decent running short. Why did the Man acted in this manner shocked me till today.. I personally do not think we had escalated matters here but think there was a serious breach of individual freedom & ways which makes SIN an attractive place to do business and deemed us an international cosmoplitian society. This incidence showed a) imposing one's standard of dressing on another using decency issues to intimidate. Using a "so-called" sikit atas attitute to impose, frustrate and cause maximun anger. b) Using the "wife" as the sufficiency of reason or to act as the actual barometer to issue a compliance to a fellow SIN resident. Is the wife the moderator of LAW & Compliance? Is the wife a walking judge issuing out arbitrary judgement based on his/her feelings of the day? Going around ticking people off for their behaviour based on his/her judgement... c) my client is small built but he was decently dressed except in his running shorts.He is well travelled and had lived in many bigger cities elsewhere. He is a banker not a Ah Beng. d) a form of extremism using method of intimidation through asking for compliance over a matter which possibly could cause conflict and to put challenge to the concept of racial harmony and/or written rule of Laws. . Using a upper crust scholarly attitute imposing one's standard using "decency" as a cover to disrupt harmony, rub society,imposing on one's civil liberty rights; as an excuse for rights of engagement ; this causing fractionalism & subtle anger to built up to disrupt another person's way of life. I hope SIN will not head down this road where individual rule the street using subtle methods of intimidation, imposing on other civil liberty rights and./or imposing on others their arbitary judgement. The above post describes a normal outing that could turn ugly when another person starts to impose his values and conduct or morality on others. What is unacceptable to him may not be acceptable to others. The danger is that it is very provocative and could start an argument or fight that could turn ugly. Every community and religious organisations should take it upon themselves to teach and educate their people to accept that in a multi racial society we must accept that other people are different and have different values and way of life. Modesty, morality, decency should be confined to one's own group and not imposed onto others. Obvious obscenity in the public is of course not acceptable. I would like to goreng that man's pisang. Tolerance man!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

redbean do you seriously expect this to be a gracious place anymore or that things will get gracious with 2 millions additional aliens? things like that happen everday and they are just trival things nothing that brazen abt it....

Anonymous said...

That was a 4 person bench. Probably the man was telling the complainant's client to put his legs down (which was obstructing the empty seat) so that when his wife return she can have the seat. After all the man did say 'excuse'.

redbean said...

the guy was sitting 4 persons away from the other guy. so it must be a 6 person bench. not sure if there are benches on each side of the table.

what is troubling is that we have all kinds of inter racial understanding functions, harmony days, go out and meet fellow singaporeans. the result is far from satisfactory if people think it is their right to demand others to conform to their standards and values.

we should all be more tolerant of others and closed one eye instead of being to pushy. learning to live with other people is not going to be easy esp when we are going to have more foreigners joining us, working and living among us.

Matilah_Singapura said...

eh, why so heated up? Relac lah, don't be so INTOLERANT yourself! The guy only ASKED, he didn't COMMAND or FORCE you client in anyway. He's merely exercising his right to speak freely and express himself.

There is no law against REQUESTING someone to do something.

Anyway, why not do what I do in a situation like that? Simply say "NO". And leave it at that. No one is obliged to explain their reasons for a "yes" or a "no".

For me, I enjoy encounters like this. I always make it a point to use it to "create" some sort of entertainment. :-)

redbean said...

matilah, i can enjoy watching someone standing up to bullies. usually bullies will be the one to make the first move after assessing the other party is easy meat.

and when the other party stands up to it, it is usually the bully that gets beaten.

but in our society, it is not going to be a simple problem of individuals itching to get whacked. other innocent people will eventually be dragged in and it can turn racial or religious. if it is between two people, let them slug it out for their their own fun.

Anonymous said...

.. i can enjoy watching someone standing up to bullies. usually bullies will be the one to make the first move after assessing the other party is easy meat.


my technique is called meditation in irritation; you stare until the bully open his mouth, then use your bottles pre-emptively for defence


but in our society, it is not going to be a simple problem of individuals itching to get whacked. other innocent people
and when the other party stands up to it, it is usually the bully that gets beaten.


yes when you do the meditation

Anonymous said...

redbean i heard you were a student of bruce lee in your youth or was that bruce zee ... is it? so how come you didnt strut your stuff that day to show him or whoever what you are really made of kung fu boy??

redbean said...

i was not there lah. and physically i am not build to fight. leave the fighting to the fighters lah.

but you be surprised when i am forced to take on bullies. have done that a few times and walked a way feeling damn good : )