6/09/2007

Singaporean catch phrases

The Singaporean Dictionary of famous phrases, in jest. (To be added on as more gems are discovered) Affordability: It means affordable according to the income of the person saying it. Equality: Some have more rights than others. Or as in Animal Farm. Foreign talents aka Fallen Trash: Not very bright foreigners but can replace Singaporeans on cheaper pay. Foreign workers: To compete with local workers to keep wages low. GST: Tax to benefit the poor and lower income citizens High Pay: Free of corruption Honest Mistake: Free from accountability. A learning process for taking risks. IR: Another term for Casinos Let's move on: Enough. We have decided and no one should say anything more about it. Case closed. Local talents: Only in demand overseas Majority: If 1 million did not vote and 3 voted, 2 is a majority. Means Testing: An opportunity to strip a citizen down to bare all his poverty. Mee Siam Mai Hum: Uniquely Singapore National security: My security, or the security of whoever saying it. Pah Si Buay Chow: Stay on as long as the pay is good. Peanuts: As it is, good for monkeys only. Political talents: The best of all the country's talents. Quitters: Applicable to Singaporeans who can't make it here. Redbeanforum = online rantings in futility? ;P Retirement age: Not applicable in politics Straight As: Above average students. Anything below is average or below average. Straits Times: Tongue in cheek views of professional journalists for nation building. Subsidies: Govt subsidises, the people pay. Super talents: Measures by income Transparent: For me to know, for you to find out. Unemployed - Refers to lazy and choosy individuals. World class. This has many definitions depending on the context. World class govt: Highest paid govt. This is unchallenged. Will appear in Guinness Book of Records soon. World class public transport: Sardine packed public transport. World class universities: Based on the criteria of assessments and number of foreign students and lecturers tweaked to fit to the expected model.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Housing Subsidies - A figure plucked from air.

Unemployed - Refers to lazy and choosy individuals.

Anonymous said...

Redbean, what about the catchy joh titles arising from the so-called rebranding of johs eg bus captains for bus drivers etc.

Anonymous said...

Redbeanforum = online rantings in futility? ;P

Anonymous said...

Don't be a spoilsport, this is THE national pastime.

Anonymous said...

National security: My security, or the security of whoever saying it.

Anonymous said...

Intelligent: their judgement

Rubbish: your thoughts

redbean said...

ok, i will amend the list with some of your suggestions.

but cannot insult bus captains. they are called captains, like airline captains. as long as they feel good and don't demand a pilot captain's pay will do.

didn't you know that there are thousands of presidents, senior vice presidents and vice presidents in singapore? maybe we have too many vices.

Anonymous said...

You realise that no other country in the world use the term foreign talent except sillypore. Most use the term skilled worker or skilled migrant.

Fallen Trash - Not very bright foreigners deployed to replace Singaporeans for the sole purpose of depressing wages.

sillypore-
sinkapore-
stinkapore- all refer to singapore
little red dot-
bee sai-

Anonymous said...

Honest Mistake: Free from accountability

Transparent: For me to know, for you to find out.

Equality: Some have more rights than others.

S'pore law: My law (a la despot).

Straits Times: Propaganda

Anonymous said...

White horse: Ensure someone DOESN'T receives privileges.

Progress Package: LEEgalised corruption or open bribery.

Matilah_Singapura said...

ORGANISED CRIME

Minister: Thug

Prime Minister: Head Thug

Senior Minister: Thug in charge of money

Mentor Minister: Grand Daddy, Supreme Ruler of Thugdom.

Minister's Salaries: Protection Money

GLC: Racket, Gang business.

Stat Board: Gang Business, racketeer training for newbie thugs.

HDB: Racket. Tenements where the gang is the supreme slum-lord.

CPF: Racket. Pyramid scheme.

LTA: Land Theft Authority. Confiscates land for gang use.

ERP: Electronic Robbery Payment - highway robbery, literally speaking. Drive your car from Woodlands to town at about 5 or 6pm, and see how much you pay.

High Court: Gang justice.

PAP: the biggest and most powerful gang.

SDP, WP etc.: Small time gang.

Police: Hit men squad — used by the Big Gang to wallop the small gangs leadership.

NS: Racket. Indentured servitude. Slaves essentially to be used as cannon fodder should there be foreign incursion into Gang Land. The idea is to delay victory and to pose "resistance" to the enemy, which buys time for the high ranking gang elders to make their escape (with all the gang loot of course)

Tax: property confiscated by extortion, in extreme cases - armed robbery i.e. "pay up or else". This is the main source of revenue for the BIG gang. Small gangs don't get a penny. They'd be lucky to get so much as a kind word.

---feel free to add----

Who says "crime doesn't pay"?

redbean said...

for matilah's and some other stronger stuff, i will publish one separate Cat 3 version and sell as pirated VCD : )

Anonymous said...

You never know, your VCD might sell like hotcakes.

Anonymous said...

Welfare: Only for snr civil servants and cabinet positions.

Anonymous said...

Peaceful Protestation or demonstration => RIOT

redbean said...

i will modify the definition for riots.

public demonstration - 4 or 5 people are dangerous.