11/12/2006

haze ransom will travel

A ransom that will not work Indonesia said it needed US$60 million to solve the haze problem. And it is contributing US$50,000 to an Asean Haze Fund. Singapore also pledged the same amount. Immediately we can see the farce of the whole game. It only gets more hazy by the days. Now Singapore wanted the whole world to come in as it is as clear as the haze is hazy that any anti haze effort without the US$60 million ransom will not work. And US$60 million is only the beginning, the initial asking price. Hopefully some countries, for political reasons and goodwill, may want to throw in another few pennies to the cup. China, Japan and the USA may have to behave and give a token support for goodwill. And Malaysia may contribute more as blood is thicker than water. Maybe eventually they will get US$10 million for starting the fire and causing the haze and for some token effort to douse the fire that they started.

Talkingcock.com facing tough competition!

I took a peep at Talkingcock.com after someone told me that it is no longer that exciting. I too have not visited Talkingcock for a long time. Now with so many people talking cock in this paradise island, where got so much time to read so many cock and bull stories. But when I visited Talkingcock.com, yeah it is quiet. And the articles were dated. Could it be that the contributors are now back in this island and contributing to all the garbage here? I think that could be a reason. Anyway, Singaporeans never have it so good with so many people joining in to talk cock. When old cocks stop talking, young cocks will have their days. Old cocks like me better give way to young cocks. I am waiting for more young cocks to come here and crow. : )

How to learn to love another people...the American way.

There is a Chinese saying, 'without fighting cannot get acquainted.' In order to know and appreciate another person, you need to fight him. And it seems that this is exactly how the Americans get to know the world and to live at peace with them. Before the Second World War, America was quite happy living in its own continent. Then came the war. They fought the Germans and the Japs. Today, the Germans and the Japs were their best pals. Then they fought the Koreans and again the Koreans are their best pals. They even have a lot of Japs and Koreans in America now. Then they fought the Vietnamese, and as expected, the Vietnamese have become great American friends and living in America as Americans. Through all these fightings, the Americans learn a new people and their way of life, culture and even learn their language. Now America is fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq. In another 10 or 20 years down the road, America will be flooded with Afghans and Iraqis. Initially they will come as refugees after the war ends. Then the next phase will be political refugees. And then all will be Americans, living happily under the same night sky and stars. Actually the first group to receive such American hospitality are the African negroes. They are now as American as any White Americans. The group that really missed out on this hospitality is the Red Indians. Maybe too little left to be appreciated. With the impending withdrawal from Iraq, Americans better braced themselves up to receive an influx of Iraqis and Afghans into the Big Apple. And more mosques should be built quickly as surely they will come. Maybe have a few MacAlibaba fastfood Restaurants ready.

myth 92

'I am generous and all caring' I am going to set up a charity with a fund of $10 million to help the needy. These people really need help and if no one is going to help them they can all become jumpers. Now conditions to qualify for my generosity. 1. They must come forward and apply, giving all details of their family background, father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, brothers and sisters, husband and wives and children. And they must bring along all their bank statements showing how many bank accounts they have and how much each have in their accounts. 2. The family income must not exceed $800 or $300 per person. I have worked this out in detail how much one needs to live. 4 packets of instant noodles and 4 packets of 3 in 1 tea or coffee shall make a wonderful meal for a day. That will cost 60c + 10c multiply by 4 meals or $2.80 x 30 days. A sum of $84 a month. $300 a month is thus more than enough. 3. For married couple, must have only one child. With such a high cost of living it is better that they limit themselves to only one child. Otherwise there is really nothing my fund can do to help. 4. They must live on rental properties. 5. And there must be no colour tv or refrigerator or hi fi at home. and no handphone. These are luxury. Computer is definitely out of question. 6. Another condition is that they must be out of jobs for at least 6 months. 7. And they must not turn down any jobs offer to them. 8. Better still if they have IOUs or statements from the loansharks to prove that they are deeply in debt. 9. And when they come to apply, try to look poor and hungry. Fat or chubby applicants need not apply. I think that should be enough criteria to qualify for my charity fund. And if successful, each one will be given $100 a month. This will be given to them on a 3 monthly basis and every case will be reviewed after 3 months. I can't give them too much or my fund will dry up fast. And now it has been a year and my fund is still not utilised. There are some applicants but most of them cannot qualify. Never mind, one day someone will qualify. Anyone want to apply?

Dreaming like an elite

Sunday morning fantasy. Allow me to day dream a little, to feel good that I am an elite. Hmmm, a $50k salary, and maybe 10 directorships. Wow! Bee tang. Can’t imagine the amount of money going into my bank accounts monthly. Each directorship may average $5k a month. More if the organization is big. Well, probably I will lose track of who is paying into my accounts or how many accounts I have. I may even forget to attend board meetings. Or often the meetings clash on the same day and either I miss one or attend one for a while, then pop into another for a cup of tea.

Now that is life. And got bonuses and increments annually some more. Well, they need to keep feeding me out of respect for my position or my talent, or my connections.

Now would I be weighed down by problems? Of course problems are aplenty. So I will need to prioritise them. Only deal with the major problems. Often I will feel very irritated by little whinings and complaints. Can’t they bring it somewhere else for others to solve them? I only take care of big problems and big issues. Haven’t they told them that a captain handles only captain’s problem while every problem going to the major becomes a major problem?

Now better to do a quick check on my bank accounts and bank balances. Should have enough to place a booking for St Regis.

While I am busy looking for another important investment, those leeches better buck up and straighten up their lives. And stop thinking of handouts. It is for their own good. Too many handouts will develop in them a crutch mentality. And soon the company will be bankrupted. Now that will be a real big problem. It will definitely affect my next increment and bonuses.

Isn’t that a nice Sunday morning fantasy?