For advertisement

Sample

2/02/2012

Bonk, bonking, bonked

Is it because of the liberalization, or is it because of the craze for artistic expression, this little uptight nanny state seems to be preoccupied with bonkings lately. The latest gossips, not gossips, newsworthy news that many Singaporeans are demanding to know or want to know, is who is bonking who. And it sells papers too I think, like the great tabloids or evening news.

The only thing good coming out this episode is for a few celebrities in high places to appear as role models in bonking as a past time. Then the dragon year will definitely become a bountiful year for making babies, legitimate or illegimate. Who cares as long as we have more population growth, more NS men, more workers to push up the GDP and more bonuses?
I think this is the real problem why this nanny state is not producing the babies that are needed. Not enough bonkings or bonking being seen as something unhealthy, undesirable, unsavory or unsophisticated. There is a need to put a new spin into bonking to make it attractive, virility, libido, manhood, ego, conquest…what else. If only the prudes are aware that bonking is quite common in today’s nanny state except not in the news. A few more reports would probably kill the curiosity on bonkings.

I heard of a complaint that someone bonked a guy. And the company nanny was serious enough to ask him for an explanation. Of course he denied. And the self confessed victim was furious. The complainee almost wanted to give the retard two black eyes. But knowing that he was sick, and with all the advices from all who knew this sicko, telling him that it was not worth it, he restrained himself from bonking the sicko to his satisfaction. Maybe the sicko was really asking to be bonked.

Ok, don’t get the wrong idea. Bonk in Hokien is something very innocuous, ie touch. I bonk you is like saying I touch you. And this cracko complained that the other guy bonked him all because the guy denied him the chance of going mad with another lady in the office. The sicko wanted to bonk her in his mentally retard ways of course. And for being unable to bonk the lady, he countered by taking it out on the innocent guy, by accusing him of bonking him.

There are many weird people around that should be locked up in IMH. But really, be careful about bonking in paradise. No bonking allowed. They only play with fiddles and read poems at the underground station. By the way, beating the citizens, even ladies, manhandling them, give them a few body blows, are perfectly fine. And just a friendly advice, please don’t ask a lady if it is alright to bonk her.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is like take, taking, taken.

Matilah_Singapura said...

Fuck the prudes lah. They too were expelled with great force, pain, blood and sometimes fecal matter, from their mothers' gaping vaginas.

Please watch the birth scene from the The Dave Chappelle Story, from the The Dave Chappelle Show which of course never came to Singapore ;-)

Tabloid rags from time immemorial have made, and continue to make gazillions of yen, dollars, ringgit, pounds, francs, dracmas...etc ad nauseum from blasting out to the masses "who is screwing who" and "who got caught screwing who by whom and how the story unfolds".

Example:
"I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat

You are my fucking whore

Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise"
Guess Who??

Later on, when kena tangkap, he puts on a bullshit Buddha-ha-ha-ha "apology". But in the moment, wah, shiok only lah. Mo tuck teng!

To this very day, I cannot understand why so many people are so "offended" by sex, when it is clear that their mother's and father's parents fucked and fucked, and then their parents also fucked and sucked and fucked some more.

What if you do produce babies? So what? You can still enjoy yourself. Humans do ok when they get hot and naked and start stimulating each other's bodies and minds. Is it "dirty"? Unless you have slack hygiene or are ill absolutely NOT!

Are the prides blind or in denial? Actually I don't really care -- the mere thought of a Singapore Prude is in itself an amusing waste of time and mental processing. However it is interesting. Do these people go out with "eyes wide open" or what?

Everywhere you go, there is some "socialising" going on. There's commercial sex, single male female sex, extra marital sex, and of course gay sex. Now kids in school are being caught being "intimate".

Do you think the prudes can leave these kids alone, or at least give them a sex education and teach the children about using condoms or birth control?

Of course not. They scare the girls into feeling cheap, and tell bullshit stories about pregnancy and STD. How to traumatize the child. Those adults should be ashamed of themselves. What's more the motherfucking heartless media publishes photos of school kids kissing and necking. Shame on them. I hope they get cancer and dies slowly! CUNTS!!

I really do hate prudes and absolute moralist prudes who are hell bent, believing that they are heaven sent, to impose their "standards" on the rest of society.

How lovely to know that the gay sex and marriage issues are going to be the catalysts which kill all religions. Normal people are far too decent to damn and deride their fellow humans just because nature made them gay.

Fuck all the prudes and all the religions those mean-spirited and evil cunts follow.

Happy sexing everyone!

Anonymous said...

haha , Matilah , this is wht we get with the happy sexing.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/woman-convicted-for-incest-in-singapore-first.html

Anonymous said...

sink , sank , sunken

Matilah_Singapura said...

@anon 758: what's the big deal? Please refer below...

The Holy Bible Genesis 19, Verses 30-38 "Lot and his daughters"

Hot excerpt, from the naughty, sexy Bible:

“Behold, I lay last night with my father. Let us make him drink wine tonight also. Then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father.”

35 So they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

36 Thus both the daughters of Lot became pregnant by their father.

Anonymous said...

In school, we have good students, mediocre students and bad students. We can tell them apart because we have tests and a grading system. If you score As, you are considered a good student but if you consistently score Fs, you are a Fucking student.

Though we don't hang Fucking students for F grades, we know life is hard for those who F around.

However, A students are those who generally excel in life. They usually become leaders in their own field.

A is for abstinence. They are the ones who set and keep the standard for the rests who think it's worth to work towards.

Otherwise, we all will be scoring Fs and behaving like animals and why marry at all?

So....if you dont make the grade to maintain the stardard, you can step down and live a F life laaaaH. nothing religious about it

Matilah_Singapura said...

Comment: See how outrageously false the Bible can be? The crap scriptures claimed that Lot "didn't know" he was nicely fucking his daughters. Well, if he really "didn't know" how come he fucked them until EJACULATED in to both his daughter's vaginas?

Imagine him in a court of law telling the judge:

"Your Honour, ON BOTH OCCASIONS I didn't realise my penis was thrusting in and out of my daughters. Honestly, I had no idea...not the slightest, although I did shoot my sperm deep into their hot, wet, loamy vaginas."

What the fuck do you think the judge would say?!?

Typical biblical nonsense -- the women are to blame, the man is innocent!
Fuck the Bible lah!

Anonymous said...

What's your problem? The bible is FOR YOU since you have found justification to fuck around...haaaaaaaa

The said...

Bonk might be misleading - better to do your bonging.....

The said...

Bonk might be misleading - better to do your bonging.....