Oh it’s Sunday morning

It is one of those mornings when one gets up and having nothing better to do. So it is good to use the creative juice for something that is eye catching and maybe grab a little attention. Call it silly if you like, but Sunday morning is a time exactly for that. Who cares about GE or fighting to be the next govt, to be leaders of the country for the next 4 or 5 years, or to get rich? What do I want to do when life is so boring? Ah, get my name etched somewhere, in the Book of Records or something like that. Wow, my name in the Guiness Book of Records in perpetuity. Then some day some little kids who too have nothing better to do will go and read the book and say oh this fella name is in the book too. And not only that, maybe I can get my name in the front page of the newspaper. Now that must be something to feel important about. Now I got a brilliant idea, no, not about designing a fan that has no blades or a vacuum cleaner that does not need a bag. I want to get 100,000 people to bust 100,000 plastic bags at the same time. I think no one has done that yet. Can someone check the Book of Records for me please. If I don’t hear from anyone then it means go. 4 pm at Hong Lim Park, each one bring a plastic bag and at the exact moment when the clock at Hong Lim Park strikes 5, bang! Then everyone can cheer and declare that he has achieved something great. But make sure the reporters and some officials are there to witness this great event. Oh, please don’t complain that I am wasting time, energy, resources and the precious plastic bags that I am not supposed to waste. Just one time and 100,000 pieces only! I already feel so good, setting a record! PS. I will print 100,000 pieces of T shirts with the words, ‘100,000 Bangs In One Go!’ and sell it at $10 each. Maybe I can make a profit of $5 each.


Wally Buffet said...

Nothing to do on Sundays?

Just go to the spa and relax man.

100,000 bangs on plastic bags on a hot day or a rainy night?

I think you need to vote in our No Worries Party as above and take advantage of our absolutely no worries medical plan which involves slightly less ahem......, orthodox alternative medicine.


Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Yep, going to the spa is the thing to do.

Anonymous said...

Someone already selling a fan with no blades. You are behind time.

You should be born in Malaysia. Then you can go into their book of records.

Redbean 'ay sai', they will chant.

Matilah_Singapura said...

Oh what a fabulous morning it was. Had brunch down by the river with a young Hotel Dwelling couple in Perth (their home) from a break from their Singapore jobs. After the usual ribbing “Why are you still here? When are you coming back to S'pore – fuck this boring shit-hole Perth”, the conversation turned to S'pore politics.

This expat couple – now S'pore citizens are die-hard PAP supporters. The hubby works for a GLC, and on more than one occasion took issue with my anti-PAP/ GLC sentiments. Fuck me – this fucker is a mat saleh from Perth and he is now defending the PAP! And worse of all, defending the PAP's policy of having 'spies' around. Motherfucker...what happened to the ideas of The Enlightenment: reason, freedom of speech, self-ownership.

So if kudis are due: The PAP needs to be applauded for the way it 'sells' itself to the new citizens. A class act.. In fact, best in the world. Most other governments are too stupid to be cunning to play on emotions as effectively as Singapore's PAP.

Last night was interesting too. I was at a hip-club in town with some friends. 'The Malt' is where many 20-30-somethings hang out. You can tell by the $400 faded jeans and the number of sorts cars in the carpark that this is not a bunch of dole-bludgers here. As we mingled, I got into a couple of conversations with some 'youngsters' – a term I use on people old enough to be my kids. They ALL thought that Perth blows (or sucks) dead dog's dicks, and when I told them I'm originally from Singapore, their eye lit up and enthused on how they would very much like to mover there. One of the older ones in fact, leaves for S'pore tonight to start a new job in media.

Among all I spoke to -- Singapore is 'hip' to them, and Perth is a cultural backwater.

So there you are. More potential Hotel Dwellers on the way. Probably more new citizens as well. And let's not forget the children these expats produce when they get into relationships in S'pore – whether with locals or other expats. The kids automatically become Singaporeans upon birth, and allowed to choose later if they would like to remain so. Sweet deal.

So rejoice. 10-15 million, no problem.

Wally Buffet said...

I am as perplexed as you are as to why these fucking nitwits are so enamoured with Sinkapoore.

In a way, I suppose too much freedom in their own countries resulting in fractious politics and hence undecisive governments and rampant crime have left them wondering whether there is a better place of abode to bring up their families.

But one thing I am sure and that is they would only want to be PRs at the very most. Make money at the expense of locals and laugh all the way back to Perth's banks.

All working members of my clan can compete with them on their terms but the one thing that I have to contend with is that some of my granddaughters in time to come might just find blue eyes more appealing than brown.

My sons will have blond little farts with blue eyes calling them grandpa!



Anonymous said...

Hey, any name for the sake of vanity even if it smells or sucks, must go for it.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

This claiming to be in the Book of Records show how third world we are. The first no longer needs such cheap thrills. Only third world countries that have nothing great to achieve will look forward for such achievements.

Next time someone will line up people for the longest fart to claim another record.