Mas Selamat - The story so far

Allow me to reconstruct the first three chapters of Mas Selamat's escape with the revelation of new information in the media. The first phase is of course the escape from Whitley Road. Then the trip back to his brother's home and finally the trip across the Causeway. The escape from detention centre is still a highly guarded mystery filled with amazing tales and adventures bordering on fiction. So far not much new information has come out on this. So nothing much can be added to it. The trip to his brother's flat in Tampines is interesting. It took him two days to reach there and still wearing his prison garb. How did he make the journey without being noticed or caught? He could not have done in it in broad daylight, too easily recognisable. He could not have travelled by car or it would take him only half an hour. This would narrow the options to walking by night when everyone is sleeping. And it took one or two nights, meaning that he would have to sneak along to avoid being seen, and his limping leg would have slowed him down further. Credit must be given to him to be able to complete the journey without being caught. Perhaps when everyone is sleeping also helped. The trip to the Causeway was much more easier. Now he was in full disguise with professional help. Dressed as a woman with a tudung will save a lot of trouble. Now he was likely to be driven to the Causeway in a car. Taking public transport will attract attention to his limping walk and it was not easy to walk like a woman too. Sitting in a car would be the ideal and a cursory glance by the immigration would not be able to detect much. And yes, a woman's passport is a must. Now, who's passport have been stamped with the dates on those few days? The idea of him swimming across the straits strapped with plastic bottles is best told in kindergartens for a good laugh. If he did not look like a porcupine, he would definitely be an attractive piece of avant gard art. No way was he going to get a hundred plastic bottles and the rafia strings to tie them together. He is not light and a bundle of plastic bottles would look like a mole hill. So far the story goes.


Wally Buffet said...

Mr. Selamat, the celebrated escape artist is one lucky SOB.

First, he had lots of toilet paper to aid in his escape.

Then he had a dumb guard who got fooled with the oldest trick in the book, ie clothing slung over the door to give the impresssion that he was doing his stuff while in actuality, he was crawling out from the ventilation window to freedom.

Next, we had our much touted world class security outfit looking for the proverbial needle in the wrong haystack, when all these while, he was having roti prata and teh tarik at the home of.........fock me, his brother!

Actually, I wanted to suggest to the authorities to look there in the first place but I was thinking that if I did that, they will call me a fool because that would be the first place they would have looked and that me, a dumb ordinary citizen should just shut the fock up with this stupid suggestion.

Well, God works in mysterious ways. If I had opened my big mouth despite the risk of being called a fool, I would have saved the country a pile of cash and the poor police and military footmen, not a few well worn boots.

The only thing I do not agree with Mr. Selamat is his decision to buggeroff to Johore. He could have stayed put in his brother's house because if his pursuers failed to look for him there in the first place, it is highly unlikely that they would ever do so. Unless someone woke up from a deep slumber!

After all, the safest place to hide is right under your enemy's nose!


Anonymous said...

"Then he had a dumb guard who got fooled with the oldest trick in the book, ie clothing slung over the door to give the impresssion that he was doing his stuff while in actuality, he was crawling out from the ventilation window to freedom". Unquote.

Is the above Quote official? If it was, then I would say the guard is not only dumb, I think he was just a dummy. Does one need to undress to do bizness in toilet ? If it was bathing, then no say lah.

This Mas Selamat Saga, as reported in the Media, is unlikely to have many believing in it. It's a very UNBELIEVABLE story which even primary school kids will doubt it's veracity.

Matilah_Singapura said...

Hop, hop, hippity, hop, hop

Manhunt. Mobilse all security forces. Road blocks. Lock down the island.

Lance Corporal PSLE Blur Sotong: "Sir, do we checked his family's homes?"

Boss SAF/ Home Affairs Scholar multiple overseas degrees:"Donch be stupid soldier. That is too obvious, he won't go there! I have 5 overseas degrees, you are blur sotong PSLE -- wake up your idea!
Oh look, the BBC newcrew wants to interview me...soldier, back to your post. Stay alert, ok?"

Hop, hop, hippity, hop, hop No one notices a limping guy in prison underwear, from Whitley all the way to Tampines.

Knock knock. "Siapa itu? Oh uncle, sila masuk...sudah makan?Saya ada nasi lemak, mari lah makan."

To aid his escape, the "art of disguise" was decided as the "best strategy". Brilliant. Who would have thought of that?!?

Better still, who would of thought of getting away with that from an island-wide lock down?

"Uncle, you want more makan? Kopi? Lihat itu TeeVee -- BERITA (news): police and military everywhere. Kalang kabut. CNN, BBC, AP, Al Jazeera, Reuters...Wah, malu sekali.

Hop, hop, hippity, hop, hop -- now dressed as Malay woman. I wonder if he was wearing heels? That would have been difficult with that limp, and definitely FUNNIER!

Then for the next few weeks Minister Wong KS "Blah blah blah we are the greatest blah blah blah we'll launch a full investigation blah blah blah won't stop blah until blah blah he's apprehended blah blah No I'm not blah blah resigning and not to blame"

Long before all that hot air from DPM Wong, the taste of freedom is delicious for some.

I tell you, and I've been telling you, the "in-house" comedy at the hotel is very entertaining!

Keep up the good work!

Wally Buffet said...


You're funnier than I will ever be.

Seriously, hope they will now understand that all those scholar stuff is for the birds.

Men of Action are born not made.


Anonymous said...

We have all the best men running the civil service. Their knowledge comes from books which may not suit circumstances when a situation arises.

You can never teach a man wisdom. It only comes with experience and aging.

Anonymous said...

They had a good question and answer session in parliament. The people who asked questions are happy, the people who answer questions are happy. Case tutup.

Matilah_Singapura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matilah_Singapura said...

Next trip to Hotel Singapore I might offer $500 (+ makan-makan at Warong Nasi Pariaman) to a Mat Rock band to compose and record "The Ballad Of Mas Selamat" and sell it to Media-Corpse Suria for their variety show.

I might even get lucky. One of those babe-licious Minah's who hang around Mat Rockers might fancy me, and we can have a nice "inter-racial romp" or threesome.

I can guarantee you one thing though, Mas Selamat dressed up as a woman didn't look like a babe-licious Malay girl. However the limp and high heels may have made him "gelek" sensually.

Hop, hop, hippity, hop, hop, gelek, gelek, swing 'dat azzz girlfriend!

Sgt Aziz bin Ahmad on patrol looking for escaped terror suspect: "Wah lihat wanita 'tu! Pantat gelek macham Jennifer Lopez!"

Cpl Keanu Chan (Peranakan partner, NS)Bukan lah..itu lah BAPOK! Jual pantat lah! Sgt Aziz - mau arrest sama dia? (tan chia NS man)

Sgt Aziz: No lah. We better look for terrorist. Save Singapore!

Mas Selmat escapes. Gelek to freedom!