We are in North Korea’s nuclear hit list

There was a very well written article in the ST yesterday written by Jeremy Auyong of SPH. It has this title, ‘A most glorious, victorious defeat’ and dressed up with a big statue of Kim Il Sung and a FIFA banner of the South African game. Half a page of the ST Life was devoted to this article. It claimed to be an intercepted report from the North Korean World Cup team to its Dear Leader. Readers are advised not to take this seriously as it was printed under the subgroup called ‘jay talking’. Let me give a little cut and paste brief of the article. It is too long for posting here. ‘All hail the Dear Leader of limitlessly rich and strong Democratic People’s Republic of Korea….On Wed, our noble team of drones stopped only a little short of a complete and total humiliation of Brazil. The final score, according to the counting system of Western liberal apologists, was Brazil cowards, 2; the great team of the People,1. …we outperform our evil scum neighbours to the south. The South Korean scoundrels managed only a miserable 2-0 scoreline against Greece, even though it is clear they were playing against a team of anti socialist conspirators that had been instructed beforehand not to try too hard…. The great victory was attained…We bowed before the life sized full colour framed portrait of Dear Leader that we have taken along at the expense of rations and a backup right back…. The noble team thank you limitlessly for authorising the temporary removal of the heavy tracking beacons that were strapped to their ankles…The players are so full of love for the Dear Leader that they now attempt to defect only once or twice a day…. As a reward for such an uplifting success, may I hereby suggest that daily team floggings be reduced from 15 strokes to 14 strokes. It would also be most magnanimous of Dear Leader if you would authorise the temporary decommissioning of the electroshock machine…. Yours humbly, Kim Jong Hun, coach of the great team of the People.’ I think it is funny and absolutely brilliant as a joke. And the editor must also agree that humour is good for the soul, never mind, the North Koreans are fun loving people and will not take offense at it. On a more serious note, if North Korea finds us singing like westerners and want to point a nuclear warhead at us, and put us in their hate list, I think we can’t blame them. They may think that we are intentionally provoking them. Maybe this is a reason why we need to fear North Korea and speak out against them at every opportune moment. After all they don’t belong to the ‘right’ camp. They are evil actually, one of the three infamous Axis of Evil that we have been told daily, and to believe it is true. We are really a blessed people with a good sense of humour. And we know how to choose the ‘right’ side. I better double check my storeroom cum bomb shelter to make sure it is same in case of a nuclear attack.


Wally Buffet said...

Making fun of the great beloved leader and my heelo Kim eh? Well, when the nuclear bombs are raining cats and dogs towards the imperialists and us being lackeys of the imperialists, we'll see who will be having the last laugh........


Mr. Bean, the new colour scheme looks fantastic. A far cry from the staid and conservative format of yesterday. You got younger by at least 5 years!

Anonymous said...

Did they really intercept such a trivial report or just a figment of their wild imagination?

Of course taking this with a pinch of salt is always my policy nowadays, foreign or local.

Anyway, if the imperialist and their stooges are so good in intercepting North Korean stuff, how come they fail to intercept such an important 'party crasher' as the North Korean submarine that fired the torpedo that sank the Choenan during a US/South Koran war exercise?

Must be another one of those 'caught unprepared' occassion.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Haha, it was just a sick joke. They think it is that easy to collect info on a 24/7 around the year and to read them. You need tremendous manhours to do it even if the info is not coded.

And yes, if they were moving in for the kill, they would have intercept them long before the sub could get near to firing range. Another sick joke.

Wally, I am just trying out the new format. Brighter a bit.

Anonymous said...

Oh Ya ! The new format is nice ! Like it.

The US and its' allies entertain us and our Dear Fren Redbean entertains them.

You are good Mr Redbean.


Matilah_Singapura said...

Don't worry redbean. Just send the Great Secretary some Annabelle Chong porno (the kinky anal stuff should do nicely), some durian and a copy of Mrs Lee's Cookbook.

...and that should seal the start of a wonderful political relationship between Singapore and N Korea.

Then DBS can open a bank there, SingTel can start a phone/internet service... and over time -- when trsut is built on the relationship -- Temasek can move in.

Please excuse me... occasionally I let my patriotism run wild and I just let go of these ideas.

There is no measure of the depth of feeling I have for my cuntry.