The best speaker in Parliament

Guess who? It hit me straight away when I tuned in to the 9.30pm news on Channel 5. Lim Swee Sway was propounding his Theory of Productivity in Parliament and the audience was dumbfounded. The camera panned across the House and the MPs and NMPs were wide eyed, mouth opened, and written on their faces was the sign of shock disbelief. They listened to him intensely and probably thinking to themselves how come they did not know of such a great Theory. Ok, I shall not put words into the Minister mouth. He did not call it the Theory of Productivity. I will rate this 'Theory of Productivity' in the same category as the Theory of Relativity in its profound and impactful implications. Let me put it briefly, 1% increase in productivity of 3m workers equals 30,000 workers (I can understand this part) and this can be translated into something like 50% of something, or call it output. He went on so fast, with so many numbers that I could not grasp what they were. I scoured the papers this morning to confirm the numbers Swee Say quoted, but those buggers did not think it newsworthy to be printed. Nothing was reported. I can't believe it My lesser brain could not understand the implications of 2% or 3% productivity growth. Now I understand. If 1% productivity growth can lead to 50% of whatever growth or output, 2% will give 100% of whatever! This is simply phenomenal. Forgive me for not knowing what this 50% is all about. But I will try to trace this amazing speech and theory and correct this post when I find it. Whatever, Swee Say was able to captivate the attention of all the Parliamentarians when no one could. PS. I appeal to the Straits Times to print Swee Say's speech in full.


Wally Buffet said...

I love looking at this guy speaking. With his hair tussled up and his earnest look of "brilliance" he reminds me of Albert Einstein when he, Albert tried to explain the Theory of Relativity to a stunned and rapturous audience nodding their heads and not understanding a word of it. Heck, I don't quite get our own "Albert" either!

Eagerly awaiting your further explanation of Lim's Theory.


Robert Tan said...

! % increase in productivity leads to 50% in output?

Amazing! Must be some mistake somewhere ....

Of course, sometimes, something that seem impossible can happen but to use those extremely rare and exceptional occurrence to generalise would be misleading.

Again, I did not catch the speech. Maybe I should read the papers more and listen to the news more but then again, I may have less time to gallivant in cyberspace.....

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

I am very angry with our papers for not publishing his speech. He quoted some figures which looked very exciting. Unfortunately I could not grasp them as it is not easy to register a string of figures from a speech.

It was 1% leading to 30k workers leading to something and then to something that was 50%. Very impressive numbers.

Robert Tan said...

Aiyah...maybe (I say maybe only, ok!) too embarassing to publish lah....

Robert Tan said...

Come to think about it, if 1% increase in productivity can lead to 50% increase in output, isn't more straight forward to just say 50% increase in productivity ....full stop?

No need to scratch your ears with the hind legs if hands can do a more efficient/effective(or shall we say, productive) job? Tsk! Tsk!

Anonymous said...

To be frank, Lim Swee Say could be even better if he speaks better. It occurs to me that his english has got lots of Teo Chew and Chinese accent that does not makes it as perfect as his speech needs to be. Content wise, I agree with you


Jaunty Jabber said...

50% Output.

Output can be either negative or positive output.
And, did he whether the Output yield profits?

Anonymous said...

If you people are still not clear what Swee Say mean, don't worry.

Soon, he will put all this into a song and dance. You will understand musically speaking.

Anonymous said...

1% increase in productivity equals 30,000 workers. Does it mean that employers can therefore do away with another 30,000 jobs? I hope that is not what is intended.

By the way they are saying that increase in productivity means higher wages for workers and more profits for employers. No arguments about that anywhere else in the world with Unions to fight for workers' rights.

Here in paradise, higher productivity translating into higher profits for employers may be true, but workers should be prepared to be sold out once again on the higher wages theory. It may never happen. On the contrary, some may find their job redundant, if employers find that two workers can do the work of three through higher productivity.

Singaporeans tend to be like children. Little by little, with consistent drumming all over the MSM, they believe lock, stock and barrel. When they come to, it is too late. Like the CPF cuts which were never and will never be restored.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Or like the CPF, in cold store, some forever till death do us part.

Anonymous said...

The audience obviously failed to understand his new Theory of Productivity.

I think he himself also do not understand what he is talking about.

Just as we have taken all his earlier propoundings with buckets of salt, like 'GST is to help the poor', or 'I feel very rich looking at my CPF statement' let him be the clown in Paradise court.

undertaker said...

I have to agree Lim Swee Say is the best amongst the PAP buggers. At least this village idiot makes me laugh, the delivery plus out of this world logic.

I wonder what Lim SS will say when LKY is lowered into the grave ?

Matilah_Singapura said...

Aiyah, I wouldn't take what this guy says too seriously. But I do agree his speech is worth a read just to ridicule it or to practice informal logic/critical thinking -- i.e. pick out the logical fallacies in his arguments.

Anyway, let me now continue with blatant logical fallacies: the "ad hominem" and "poisoning the well":

How can you trust this guy who doesn't work for a living but instead gets his millions from the forced confiscation of other peoples' money?

There. I said it. He's no different from a robber.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

I did not give him the honour as the best speaker for nothing. For a long time, no speaker in parliament could hold the attention of the house for more than 10 sec before heads starting to drop for a quick snooze. When Swee Say speaks, everyone becomes very attentive and spell bound. It is like children watching Harry Potter. There is magic in the air.

You may think that I am spinning a myth around him. Maybe yes, and anyone interested in myths can learn from me. Maybe I shall start to glorify some of them into legendary figures.

And Swee Say may say, same same MPs, same same parliament, no same same magic.

Oh, his speech is still not published.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

And welcome to the blog, undertaker.

Anonymous said...

Try googling for the video feed. There may be some one who recorded the whole speech and posted it on youtube or something.

I get so disappointed with the budget after the first day, I did not even bother to follow it anymore in the news.

Gosh, I would have wanted to see what he has said as well.
I will do some poking around to see if I can find it.

Update here when I can.

Anonymous said...

Redbean, giving him only the best speaker award is an insult.

This man is also musically a genius with his 'upturn the downturn' musical. He is also extremely talented as a comedian, with his trademark outburst of 'I feel very rich looking at my CPF statement'

Please bear all this in mind when you next honor the man.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hi Dr AC, welcome to the blog.

Swee Say is famous for his accent and style of presentation.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

I have read some of the comments in some blogs and forums calling Swee Say a court jester or a fool. I think this is unfair. And worst, like someone quoted, the bigger fool is the one that voted to follow the fool.

Swee Say is no fool. He is one of the best talent we can find in this little rock of no talents. He is a minister, a president scholar, the leader of the labour movement, and best, when he speaks, people listen.

And if he is a jester, they will all be laughing. But no, they just listen, maybe some may have their jaws dropped. Still they listen to him. For what he said is serious business, not meant to be jokes. He is talking about national affairs and affairs of the workers.

He is a legend in the making. The future school books will be writing about him than the rest of the MPs and ministers who could not have the same impact in Parliament.

Matilah_Singapura said...

Lim has never eraned one dollar from the private free market in his entire life. He's been a career politician and received a government salary (tax money -- no need to "create value") all his life.

Does he know how to, oh I don't know, say, "serve a customer"?


Anonymous said...

He could be the next PM in the making.

Anonymous said...

"....when he speaks, people listen."

Are you sure? People listen to his gaffes more than the substance of his speeches. He is no Francis Seow.

If he becomes the next PM we will have dumb and dumber consecutively. Both talk funny.

We could compile a book of notable quotes just from these two characters alone.