Mum to be put off by ungracious people

A letter to Today paper by Tan Ai Chern described how she was put off by ungracious people, a child/mother who refused to offer her a seat in the MRT, commuters pretending to close their eyes, ignoring her, people jumping queue to buy fish soup in front of her. I hope mums to be will not be put off from having babies because of ungracious people. While we are encouraging people to have more babies, people should think very carefully why they are having babies. The last thing they should do is to have babies because they are told to do so. Or worst, because the economy needs a few more workers as cogs in the gigantic machinery. Or for the money minded, having babies because of the monetary incentives. Then there are those who have babies because someone from somewhere said so. A baby is a life. One must be responsible for bringing that life into this unforgiving world where losers will pay painfully for their whole lives. It is so easy for those who are naturally productive to keep producing. But producing babies to be prime ministers or to be manual workers? The most important and simple point is to give life only if you love the life and are able and willing to give the life a good life. Otherwise it is a very cruel and wicked thing to do to bring life into this world and let that life fend for itself as a deprived and underprivileged.


Wally Buffet said...

When my daughters-in-law were mums to be, an emperor's edict went out to their husbands. No MRT because of the ungracious people and the sardine can travelling. No kamikaze taxis because they all are. They must drive their wives to and from work, to and from everything else. That's how much we treasure the new additions to the clan.

Jaunty Jabber said...

When people are unkind, they are unkind to all beans, and are unkind all the time. They will not become kind in the instant when they see a pregnant lady who may appeared to be needy for help.

When you love someone and wish to pamper the person with the resources you have, you will love and take care of the person regardless if she is pregnant. It is sad & cruel to woman when she discovered that she will only become precious when she is pregnant. Sometimes, this could be one of the wrong reasons woman made when they decided to have a baby.

Wally Buffet said...


Maybe you haven't been pregnant before. :-)) but let me assure you that during that time, you will have special needs. So some pampering is in order. But when everything stabilizes, life goes on per normal. In fact, when the pregnancy stabilizes, obstetricians advise that the pregnant woman should carry on all the normal daily routines of living.

Jaunty Jabber said...

To me, love is unconditioned.

Giving special treats to the loved ones is making life more liveable, regardless of the person's state.

Wally Buffet said...


My son said to his wife: "I just want to be your everything." Andy Gibb

Chauffeur included.

Anonymous said...


You have given a very good advice.

The young today are pragmatic and practical lot. Read in Today, the free sheets, teens as young as 12 are into active sex.

According to the Report 5 or 6 out of ten teens are into it, in time to come maybe love will become secondary to sex.

Where are we heading ?

Frightening !


Jaunty Jabber said...

Didn't sometime ago, there are discussions over sexual education to the junior teens? Result?

Besides the influences of internet, liberalism and social pressure, causes of more younger teens to be sexually active could be:

- sex ed. curriculum overly emphasis the benefit of condoms, giving the youngs a false interpretation that so long a condom is used, STI and preg. can be prevented.

- sex is fun, foreplay is adding pleasure. Causing kids to fantasies too much too early.

redbean said...

hi patriot,

the world has changed, values have changed, and lifestyle also changed.

we are just some leftover living fossils: )

redbean said...

hi jaunty,

you remember the liberal sex education programme. this is something that shouldn't start too young. but now the pandora box has been opened and ginny is out to grant all the wishes to make everyone happy.

this is going to be the way until something deadly forbids the liberalism. even aids is not that fearsome huh.

Jaunty Jabber said...

Yes Redbean,

Somehow the world are more afraid of H1NI than AIDS.

redbean said...

isn't that a joke?

how's your trip to sungei buloh?

Jaunty Jabber said...

I haven't go there. I was trying to organize a visit there but it is not easy to make my suggestion more convincing.

Not many people appreciate natures to the extend of tolerating the heat, the mozzie and inconveniences.

redbean said...

yep. many people prefer noisy and crowded places like orchard rd. sungei buloh is for those who do not want the distractions of civilisation, some peace and quiet.

tranquility can be very blissful. but not everyone likes that. to be close to mother nature, not talking, just seeing and listening and breathing.

Jaunty Jabber said...

I just returned from a beach resort trip, feels good that many fishes are willing to play with me : )
(I snorkelled, not deep diving)

Nature is most beautiful.

To have baby for the wrong reason is against nature. Similarly, to be sexually active too early is not natural, too.

Wally Buffet said...

"To have baby for the wrong reason is against nature. Similarly, to be sexually active too early is not natural, too."


This is nothing compared to what is going on in the world of LGBTq

Matilah_Singapura said...

In my experience, I think this chick is cherry picking: i.e. count the 'hits' and ignore the 'misses'.

I've seen people give up their seats — with smiles. I happily give up my seat to a mum, because then I can stand and look down at her tits ;) ... and I always smile :)

There'll always be people who behave (in your words) 'ungraciously'. That's life lah. No big deal.

Wally Buffet said...

I will give up my seat to a SYT because the tits look more tantalizing! :-))

Anonymous said...

"I will give up my seat to a SYT because the tits look more tantalizing!"

Sigh, no wonder I don't get much special treatment.

- Runway to Shallow Hal

Wally Buffet said...

OK fellas,

Talk tomorrow. Now to happy hours and those tits!

Jaunty Jabber said...

Ah, now I see how mum-to-be are bullied, graciously accepted a seat offer and not knowing that it was actually an exchange for offensive ogle from some lecherous men.

Matilah_Singapura said...

Hey Jaunty, sometimes it's better to accept an offer graciously and simply allow men to be men ;-) ...otherwise keep standing and complaining...

...or catch the bus/train at the terminus where the mum can be almost guaranteed to get seat. You see, there are many solutions to problems.

redbean said...

thanks matilah, for your kindness and generosity.

Jaunty Jabber said...

Man would be Man, Yes I agree and I aceept.
In fact, I adore Real Man.

If the man must look, please know how to use a pair of kind eyes, with a smile will be good, with a polite expression.

Ogle become offensive and is a turn-off when eyeballs are popping out, lower lips unable to reach upper lips with fluid threatening to flood outwards, yucks!

Matilah_Singapura said...


You were the one who chose to use the words 'ogle' and 'lecherous', and you even implied 'bully'. Typical woman — always jumping to the wrong conclusions, when all along men like me simply enjoy some harmless fun ;)

And by the way, women look too — and can be 'gatal'. I've been 'flashed' (both the 'upper naughty bits' and 'lower naughty bits') more than once by chicks trying to be cheeky with me and/or try to shock me. Instead of getting offended, I would always smile, pay them a compliment, and thank them for showing me their 'stuff'. And if you doubt me, go and attend the next all-male strip revue when it comes to S'pore, and you'll see the 'real side' of real, normal women when they are in a big group. :)

Anonymous said...

Lol! Matilah, you sure those aren't transexuals? Because for the rest of the women, it is unlikely you will get any free shows unless you are Takenouchi Yukata.

redbean said...

no, matilah is like crocodile dundee: )

Jaunty Jabber said...


I agree with you that not always the ogle from man are offensive or lecherous; and women does look at man, too.

If the ogle are kind, polite and friendly, we woman do not mind, we will return with a smile.

If man want to look and not getting white eyeballs from woman in return, practice to give appropriate expression. The basis of appropriate expression comes from the mind, if the man did not use imagination to strip the woman, and having only gracious admiration to the woman he is looking at, a naturally polite expression will form on his face.

Matilah_Singapura said...

to anon 533:

> it is unlikely you will get any free shows <

Unlikely as it may seem, incidents of women 'flashing' are not uncommon here in Australia.

Aussie gals can be very cheeky and tend to be more forward than gals, say from Asian cultures. I should know - mrs. ex-matilah #1 & #2 are both Aussie gals who have no hesitation in expressing their feelings.

Matilah_Singapura said...

Jaunty theorized:

> The basis of appropriate expression comes from the mind, if the man did not use imagination to strip the woman, and having only gracious admiration to the woman he is looking at, a naturally polite expression will form on his face. <

Wow! Science :)

Actually, it is quite natural to imagine a person - one is attracted to physically - NAKED. This is an in-built biological program. 'Attraction is not a choice'

I have no 'behavioural problems' relating to women. I work and are friends with stunning men and women (who also happen to be down to earth and nice) as well as people like myself who are more 'ordinary', and are simply down to earth. Thus I take a leaf out of your 'perfect woman' book, and follow exactly: I don't ogle. I look, and pay a compliment, and am always smiling - not smirking. It is never my intention to make people feel uncomfortable with their physical attributes.

Jaunty Jabber said...

Not every man is on the same track as Matilah.

: )