12/09/2005

in celebration of death

why should the obituary always be a sad and sorrowful message? many people have live to a ripeful age of 70s, 80s and 90s. these are people who have seen through many things, the ups and downs of living. many have left behind happy and successful children and grandchildren or great grand grandchildren who are having a life of their own. is there anything to be sorrowful about? perhaps some may miss their presence as they will be no more. but should the family and friends rejoice that someone has walked the walk, live the life and finally getting on to their next phase of life? the physical body is failing, every physical part is malfunctioning. the person can no longer do simple things for himself/herself. there is no longer the energy to live life and enjoy life. would it not be a great liberation from the constraints of a dysfunctional body, a breakthrough to live another life? the chinese last rite for those who have lived pass certain age and have many children, grand children and great grand children is different. it is not meant to be a sad event. it is meant to be a celebration. the props were no longer white or green in colour, but red and bright. for those who miss the company, well it is like having a close friend or soulmate go on a long holiday. let us celebrate the freedom from this physical body when the time comes. let us rejoice and be happy that someone close have made it to live another day in another place. for many, dying is probably the best thing that can happen. an opportunity to start a new adventure.

5 comments:

Speedwing said...

Hi Redbean,

I agree with you here. Dying is part of living and when the time comes for each of us, we must accept it as what it is meant to be. Tragic cases may be when some who have not been on this earth many years have to depart. Children dying before reaching their teens, teens who have not reached adulthood, and many who are at their prime of life. Some of us believe in fate, some fated to live to a ripe old age and some fated to depart at a younger age.

As you say, sadly there are those who do not enjoy good health in their old age and have to depend on others to exist. Maybe in cases where the dignity of the patients are so poor, some may wish to end their time on this earth. It may be kinder to allow them to end their existence rather than be a burden to their love ones and also feeling so guilty to be so dependent on society. However, this poses many questions? Who are we to decide on when a person must die? Are we to play God? How do we know when is the right time? Do we have an invisible line to determine death when a person crosses it?

It is always difficult when we miss a love one. You are right, the best way is to think that those departed have gone on a long journey and one day in the distant future we will meet up with them again.

redbean said...

hi speedwing,

you posed many difficult questions which i am unable to answer. we do not know when is the ripe time. i wrote this article specifically referring to devan nair. he has lived quite comfortably despite the relationship with his old comrades. he would love to return and be among his friends and families.

other than these misgivings, he has quite a fascinating life. he has lived it in a way many will never experienced. he has a full life. nothing to regret or feel sorrowful about.

as for close friends and family members, ok, they will miss him. but that is part of the game. everyone will have to take this path one day.

Speedwing said...

Hi Redbean,

I only know Devan Nair because he was your past president. I am not clear about his political views and what he stood for. I was told he was a person who enjoys his drinks and that was the main reason for his fall from grace. I believe he was suffering from dymentia in his old age.

Anyway, from what I have been reading in the ST, he has had a good life and from an estate manager's son to the president of Singapore he must have been quite a capable man. Full credit to the man!!!

What puzzles me is this. Before his passing, these was never a mention of this person in the ST for the past five years. Why do we always praise them only when they depart? Surely it is sometime better to say good things about a person when he is still with us? Just a thought.

redbean said...

it is always good to say some good things for someone who has passed away. everyone feels good and no one is offended.

whatever you want to know of devan nair is all in the paper. it is not possible to resurrect a ghost but quite acceptable to resurrect the good name of a dead man, and let him rest in peace.

Speedwing said...

Ya, let him rest in epace. I am sure he is in a better place now. Amen.