Interviewing a political candidate

The setting was in a posh hotel. It was done to impress the candidates that this is the right place to be, to be in the right company and everything is fine, first class stuff. All the riches money can buy. The décor and ambience were like those gold bullions and diamond bucket shops, a façade done to impress the impressionable, with superficial finesses.

The candidates must be awed by the opulence of such an interview setting. It is like walking into the temple of god, and in the company of gods. And the godlike interviewers will field their cleverly crafted questions to assess the candidates, at the same time to impress them that the interviewers are the super talents and assessing the super talents wannabes. The unspoken ethos, you need to get pass them to be seen as good enough to be a super talent. They will assess the candidate’s potential and aspiration.

In the course of a few days of interviews, the candidates tried their very best to be the one to be selected and they will muster the most ingenious ways, at times queer, but always different, to impress the godlike interviewers. Some will bring themselves so low, to prove humility, that they are in politics to serve the people, anything but for personal glory and money. They don’t mind becoming social workers, very highly paid social workers, to look after the oldies and the poor, the special needs children, a very noble sense of wanting to give to the downtrodden, to care for them. Some would go down one level further by confessing their greatest love for animals, the non sentient beans. They rather care for animals than the already blessed human beans.

The smarter ones will try to game the system. They did their homework and know what the interviewers were looking for. So they showed off their management skills and said they want to manage town councils. They know that the skill to run town council is a mandatory skill to run a country. Anyone that is incapable of running a town council means no good to run a country. Instant failure. They would not mind being paid $16,000 pm or more with the perks, to brag how well they can sweep floors and make sure public toilets are clean, and the roads have no pot holes.

The not so bright ones, who thought they are brighter, would tell the interviewers their aspirations to be great politicians, great leaders and even want to chase the rainbows, and be prime ministers or ministers. They want to live with the true spirit of meritocracy and being high achievers.

The interview is a very serious process to pick out the deserving candidates to be politicians, to be paid in the millions, at least $16,000 a month to start with, and only part time. Many candidates were picked and shortlisted, and after the interviews, many more days and nights would be spent sorting out the real and good stuff from the pretenders.

Finally, after a long wait, the list will be announced. Those aspiring to be road sweepers, to manage town councils are chosen. Those wanting to be highly expensive social workers or animal lovers were also desirable candidates, the type of people to become political leaders and to look after the welfare of animals in the islands, like stray dogs and cats. Those that want to be great leaders, to run the country, to be ministers and prime ministers, were unfortunately not chosen. Who needs such ambitious brats? There are enough godlike talents and the pyramid at the top is very narrow. No room for smart alecs and bright and ambitious politicians.

The interviewers studied their needs very carefully and picked the right people to fill in the slots from the best candidates available. They need town council managers, not political leaders, they need people who have a big heart for the down trodden, for the poor animals. They need people to sweep the floors and clean toilets. There is no need for real leaders, leaders that can solve national issues. They already have plenty of them in the stables. What, glorified and over paid social workers and animal lovers? Are they being paid too much for what they are doing? Not really, unless you want to employ foreign workers to do these jobs.

My inspiration for the above story comes from the Animal Farm. It is 100% fictional and would be good for another 100 years as a political piece of crap.