The bad old bus-ing days

The recent news that Singaporeans were more satisfied with buses than the MRT hit me like a freight train.  I never thought I would live to see the day when buses would outperform MRT trains which debuted 30 years ago to save Singaporeans from our ramshackle buses.  But it’s not fake news!  A survey by the Singapore Management University’s Institute of Service Excellence (ISE) actually showed that public buses scored 65.6 points compared to 63.3 points for MRT last year in the land and air transport Customer Satisfaction index.  This astonishing revelation triggered memories of my past bus-ing experience which I am pleased to share below. 

Growing up in the 60s, my most fearsome bogeyman was not my father, my teacher or the schoolyard bully.  It was the bus conductor.  God help you if he is in a bad mood, which was almost always.  Before you board the bus, be sure you know exactly where you are going otherwise the health warning is “Don’t board”. Never, never ask (even in the meekest fashion and the mildest tone) “where does this bus go uh?” because that’s the surest way to invite a earful. “You don’t know how to take bus lah! (as though you need a PhD to take bus) Bus go to so many places. Don’t even know where you go, how to tell you?!”

These guys were also not beneath getting physical if the bus was sadine-packed (which again was almost always). Whether you are man or woman, young or old, you better do as told. “Masuk dalam! Masuk dalam! (Move inside, move inside)” or you stand a good chance of being physically and involuntarily pushed in. This roughhouse tactic is played out against the soundtrack of dripping sarcasm - “Masuk dalam! Dalam tadak hantu! Kalau takut hantu, ambil teksi!” (“Move inside, inside no ghost, if scared of ghost, take taxi!”).  But they had their qualities too.  Such as the eagle-eyed sharpness with which they spot commuters who underpaid their fares. “Ha, want to cheat, is it?  This place is 30 cents, not 20 cents! No bargain!” Any attempt at apology is rudely dismissed with a snort of “Sorry no cure!” 

Oh sorry, I forgot about the hardware. Not only were the buses coming apart at the joints, they were also conspicuous by their absence. In short, lousy frequency and lousy buses. Air-con buses? Never heard of them. Count yourself lucky if they run - even if they run late.  But sometimes, just sometimes, so that you can’t even depend on them being late, they come early, with buses of the same service arriving in two- or three-somes.  It gave birth to the uniquely Singaporean term of “bus bunching”, which incidentally provided drivers and conductors with their moment of devilish fun. Seeing commuters flagging at his less crowded bus, the driver merrily wheeled away to the delight of his co-conspirator, the conductor who intoned - “Serve you right! Got bus don’t take, want to choose. Let you wait!” Whether the commuters are guilty of choosiness is debatable but one this is certain. Waiting for buses back then was like seeing the doctor - the wait was always longer than the journey.

Fastforward to the present.  We have gotten rid of the bus conductor.  The bus driver is more polite (in fact there is a warning to commuters not to abuse the drivers!). There was also an additional 1,000 new buses, all air-conditioned and many double-decked, as well as 80 new bus services introduced between 2012 and last year. As such, there is shorter waiting time and reduced crowds during peak hours. In fact there is a better chance of one getting a seat on a bus than a train. So I am really happy at the improvement because as one who have experienced the bad old bus-ing days, I daresay I speak with perspective - something that Vblogger Nas Daily (Nuseir Yassin) said Singaporeans lack.