leaders in the aftermath of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School
massacre would have made for a rip-roaring comedy. But thanks to some of
the most tragically comical personalities in US politics, it has passed
into the realms of tragicomedy.
Leading the cast is the 45th president of the United States who brilliantly
suggested turning teachers into armed sheriffs in defence of their charges.
Not all teachers mind you, “only people with a natural talent (for
shooting) or hitting a golf ball, or putting”, assured Mr Donald Trump. As
an incentive, these firearm-adept school staff will be given “a little bit
of a bonus” for carrying weapons, much like Singapore civil servants’
language allowance. Adding icing to the cake, the president also shared how
he would have reacted to the situation at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High
School had he been there (but he wasn’t of course). “I really believe I’d
run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon”. Then without the slightest
tinge of irony, he went on to talk about mental institutions. “We’ll have
to go for greater institutionalisation of mentally ill people who are
capable of violence. A lot of folks in this room (state governors) closed
their mental institutions because of cost, so now we have nothing between a
prison and leaving him at his house”.
Next on the list is the honorable Wayne LaPierre, head of the National
Rifle Association (NRA) who blamed gun control advocates for pushing, well,
gun control. Decrying the “shameful politicisation” of the tragedy, he
accused them of wanting “to strip law-abiding gun owners of their firearms
freedoms”. Mr LaPierre went on to say that the Second Amendment staunchly
defends every American’s right to bear arms, and (again without the
slightest tinge of irony) assured that the NRA would be happy to work with
schools to make them safer. To be fair, it wasn’t just talk. He actually
sat down with President Trump over lunch and managed to convince him (in
the president’s own words) that “the gun advocates want to do something”.
Even better, he and his side-kick Chris Cox had the president purring and
tweeting post-lunch: “What many people don’t understand or don’t want to
understand is that Wayne, Chris and the folks who work so hard at the NRA
are Great People and Great American Patriots. They love our Country and
will do the right thing.” It was a mantra the president carried into his
session with the governors, saying: “Don’t worry about the NRA, they’re on
our side. Half of you are so afraid of the NRA, there’s nothing to be
afraid of”.
These two leading men aside, no tragicomedy would be complete without an
able supporting cast. They don’t come any more able than Florida’s Senator
Marco Rubio, the failed Republican aspirant for the 2016 presidential
election, who famously (or infamously) opined in 2015: “None of the major
shootings that have occurred in this country over the last few months or
years that have outraged us would have been prevented by new gun laws (such
as expanded background checks)”. Asked by a student if he would still
accept campaign donations from the NRA after the latest shooting, the
senator replied: “The answer is people buy into my agenda. And I do support
the Second Amendment, and I support the things”. Huh!!?? He got away with
that one as a politician in America but if he were a student in Singapore,
he would have flunked our ‘O’ levels for failing to answer a simple
question.Post by Foo Siang Luen, our new contributor