Amos Yee representing himself in court

I just can’t imagine how the proceedings will go when Amos Yee defends himself in court without a lawyer but Amos in person. And he has requested that the witnesses testify orally instead of in writing. Oral presentation is Amos’ forte. It is like Amos in Parliament challenging the MPs who could only make their cases in writings and to read from scripts.

Let’s try to imagine how someone like Amos, but not Amos, would conduct himself in court.  Let’s call this fictional character Ah Mok. 

Ah Mok said: ‘Ok, you motherfucker, you said your Dog is so sensitive and is offended by what I said. Now prove it to me, show me that your Dog is offended. You see my two fingers pointing to your Dog? See, look at your Dog, how is it offended? Where is it, come on, show me that your Dog is angry, you dumb twit…. I need empirical evidence, facts man, not what you think or what you believe. In a court you must have solid hard evidence to state your case. Where is your hard evidence?’

Judge cut him, ‘Ah Mok, mind your language, this is my court. If you don’t respect the witnesses never mind, but you must respect me. I am the judge here.’

Ah Mok: ‘Oh shut up old man, I am cross examining the witness. I am no learned counsel and this is how I speak. Can, cannot? Never mind, you sit there and listen while I shack the witnesses, one at a time.’

The UN Special Representative on freedom of opinion and expression chipped in. ‘Your honour, please allow Ah Mok to exercise his freedom of speech so that he can defend himself against the charges.’

Ah Mok: ‘And you there, the one hiding behind there, what is your problem? You don’t like me fucking your Dog? Did your Dog mind? Did your Dog say it mind? Tell me what your Dog said, you silly motherfucker.’

Judge could not take it any more. ‘Ok Ah Mok, enough of your vulgarity. Vulgarity is not allowed in my court. If you go on like this I am not going to proceed with the case, you hear me?’

Ah Mok, ‘Yes, I understand you perfectly Mr…. Judge. Do I have to address you as my honour or whatever crap they used to call you in court? I am Amos, I know you don’t like my face, and I don’t dig your protocol. This is me, Ah Mok, flesh and blood, hot bloody blood running through me, no pretences, no hypocrisies. I repeat, I have the right to question my witnesses like all legal counsels do, to threaten, harass and ridicule the witnesses, to make the witnesses look stupid. You cannot object, only the prosecution can object. As the judge you can say sustain or over rule. That is your role. Did I get this right?’

Ah Mok: ‘Now, where was I? Oh you, yes you motherfucker, what is your problem? Come again, look at me, not at the piece of shit in your hand. Talk to me, not read to me….Oh Judge, can you tell the motherfucker to speak up? Can he talk or he can only read from prepared scripts? Who wrote the script for him?’

Someone switched off the light in the court room and everything went dark. Ah Mok screamed, let there be light. And there was light.