9/09/2018

Give Mr Bean new life in Red Dot

There was news that Rowan Atkinson was thinking of retiring Mr Bean a few years back. Not sure if this is the end of Mr Bean. During an interview with the Daily Telegraph, he gave this replied. 'Atkinson told the Daily Telegraph's Review. "Apart from the fact that your physical ability starts to decline, I also think someone in their 50s being childlike becomes a little sad. You've got to be careful."' I think this is good advice for anyone above 50 to act childish or talk childishly. Anyway this is not my point. I was thinking of getting Mr Bean to produce a movie on Mas Selamat's childish escape from a high security prison. This movie would endear every Singaporean to it as the memory has been forever etched deeply in the psyche of every Singaporeans that lived through that hilarious episode of our history.

Below is a draft of my script for this movie, titled 'Mr Bean's Escape from Blue House'.

Scene 1. Mr Bean, the terrorist, is happily daydreaming of his success as a terrorist and being rewarded high heavens until the knocking at the door, at 3am woke him up. And a few men in dark glasses, in the wee hours, in dark suit and take him away.

Scene 2. Mr Bean, the terrorist, is taken on a tour of Blue House by men and women wearing dark glasses to impress on him how secured and heavily guarded is the Blue House, the patrols, guards, electric fence, cctvs etc etc. And this privilege knowledge is replayed in Mr Bean's head as he dry run his escape plan.

Scene 3. Mr Bean's family members visit him and under the watchful eyes of men and women in dark glasses, he manages to slip his escape plan to them. This part requires special talent from Mr Bean's arsenal of childish but effective tricks.

Scene 4. Mr Bean is led to the toilet by women in dark glass for a pee. This is followed up by his contortionist act of squeezing through the toilet window. But before that he would have to lay his carpet of toilet rolls nicely to break his fall.

Scene 5. Mr Bean is out of the toilet and out of sight of the men and women in dark glasses. He also changes into dark suits and put on dark glasses and walked out of the Blue House in style. But before that he laid a series of traces leading to the high security fence, attaching a piece of his prison wear on the fence to lead the men in dark glasses to go astray, thinking that he climbed over the fence.

Scene 6. Out on a limb, he continued to leave clues that he had taken a path into the nearby jungle before taking a lift from his friends waiting nearby. This would be followed by a mad scramble by the men and women in dark glasses running all over the jungle.

Scene 7. Mr Bean enjoying his pop corn watching TV in his sister's flat while the security forces were combing all the tourist sites and parks looking for him.

Scene 8. Mr Bean, now acting as the minister in charge with a little makeover, appeared on TV to make his famous assessment of his whereabout, something like, 'He is either in the island or he is out of the island.'

Scene 9. This is the interesting part with Mr Bean planning his escape to Malaysia. Several scenarios can be worked on like how he swims across the Singapore Straits, aided by his limping leg that actually became a super rudder or tail fin. Or he could be seen testing on different kinds of gear, plastic bags, drink bottles, oil drums or simply hanging on to a coconut trunk.

Scene 10. He abandons all the childish plans to swim across the Straits and confidently walks through the customs at the Causeway, wearing dark glasses and in dark suits.

Scene 11. How Mr Bean is enjoying his new freedom in a kampong but feeling dull with an unexciting life doing nothing. Then he hatches a plan to inform the Malaysian Police for a deal to hand him back to the men and women in dark glasses so that he could continue to enjoy his pleasant stay at the Blue House in Mount Pleasant. The End.

Actually there are many scripts for a Singapore version of Mr Bean or Missy Bean with Michelle Chong as the Singapore version of Mr Bean. It could be made into a serial with so many wonderful ideas coming from the political scene. Things like how Missy Bean buys a flat with a $1000 pay,  how she looks so dignified when she struck Toto, or how she exercises picking cardboards and pushing makeshift carts, or how she sneers at the 3rd, 4th or 5th raters by not wanting to join the opposition when invited, or trying to explain how GST is to help the poor, or why CPF is not your money and it is good to put more money into the CPF, safe forever. And her favourite, how to be a foreign talent and survives in this island that is so welcoming of foreign talents like maids and construction workers, how she takes a Grab taxi driven by her employer.....

There are just so many humorous things for Missy Bean in Red Dot to act on. I am sure all of you would have even better ideas and better scripts for Missy Bean.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

A Wong Cun Sing sang all his way. Job not only kept but super salaries n bonuses continued. I dont blame him for cruising but his Goondu boss who continues with his puppiescracy. HoleKwongPing is modest to describe as brilliant but very brittle...very brittle yes but not brilliant at all in past 14 yrs...goondu with lots of moneies to throw as suckers to the world, yes. Mas Selamat must be still laughing at the extraordinary nation.

Titiana Ann Xavier said...

The Little Red Dot is a rich source and inspiration for great movies. Crazy Rich Asians broke box office records. "Mr Bean's Escape From Blue House" about Mas Selamat's escape may be the next great movie. Similarly, "The Pretender At The Istana" about an Indian peasant ursurping the royal throne reserved for a Malay may succeed too. A laugh a day keeps the doctor away.

Anonymous said...

Another potential Mr Bean Comedy happening, not in Little Red Dot, but in The Big Black Patch called USA, by men in black suits and black glasses:


Open Letter From Charles Faddis To John Brennan


Dear Mr. Brennan,

I understand that you are a political opponent of the current President of the United States. I understand that you are an American citizen, and you have the right to freedom of speech. I encourage you to utilize that right. I encourage you to speak your mind. I encourage you, as I do all Americans, to be heard.

I implore you, however to cease and desist from continuing to attempt to portray yourself in the public media as some sort of impartial critic concerned only with the fate of the republic. I beg you to stop attempting to portray yourself as some sort of wise, all-knowing intelligence professional with deep knowledge of national security issues and no political inclinations whatsoever. None of this is true.

You were never a spy. You were never a case officer. You never ran operations or recruited sources or worked the streets abroad. You have no idea whatsoever of the true nature of the business of human intelligence. You have never been in harm’s way. You have never heard a shot fired in anger.

You were for a short while an intelligence analyst. In that capacity, it was your job to produce finished intelligence based on information provided to you by others. The work of intelligence analysts is important, however in truth you never truly mastered this trade either.

In your capacity as an analyst for the Central Intelligence Agency, while still a junior officer, you were designated to brief the President of the United States who was at that time Bill Clinton. As the presidential briefer, it was your job to read to the president each morning finished intelligence written by others based on intelligence collected by yet other individuals. Period.

While serving as presidential briefer you established a personal relationship with then President Bill Clinton. End of story.

Everything that has transpired in your professional career since has been based on your personal relationship with the former president, his wife Hillary and their key associates. Your connection to President Obama was, in fact, based on you having established yourself by the time he came to office as a reliable, highly political Democratic Party functionary.

All of your commentary in the public sphere is on behalf of your political patrons. It is no more impartial analysis then would be the comments of a paid press spokesman or attorney. You are speaking each and every time directly on behalf of political forces hostile to this president. You are, in fact, currently on the payroll of both NBC and MSNBC, two of the networks most vocally
opposed to President Trump and his agenda.

There is no impartiality in your comments. Your assessments are not based on some sober judgment of what is best for this nation. They are based exclusively on what you believe to be in the best interests of the politicians with whom you long since allied yourself.

It should be noted that not only are you most decidedly not apolitical but that you have been associated during your career with some of the greatest foreign policy disasters in recent American history.

continues .....

Anonymous said...

Open Letter From Charles Faddis To John Brennan continues


As CIA Director for Barack Obama you:

- Presided over the Iran nuclear deal, which allowed Iran to escape from decades of containment and set the Middle East on fire.

- Watched while Russia annexed Crimea and then reestablished itself as a hostile force in the Middle East.

- Dithered and tinkered with organizational wiring diagrams at Headquarters while China annexed and fortified the entire South China Sea

The extent to which you are tied directly to the Clintons, Barack Obama and the Democrat Party is clearly evident in the emotional nature of your recent commentary.

Ever since this president was elected there has been a concerted effort to delegitimize him and destabilize him. This has been an unprecedented attempt to undermine the stability of the republic in order to achieve partisan political advantage. You and your patrons have been complicit in this effort and at its very heart.

Now as the Mueller investigation collapses of its own weight and the extent of this conspiracy is beginning to become clear you are in evident panic. You should be.

You are free to do as you wish politically. Stop representing to the American people that there is anything else at play. You abandoned any hope of being a true intelligence professional decades ago and became a political hack. Say so.

Meanwhile, Senator Rand Paul’s assessment of you stands:

“John Brennan started out his adulthood by voting for the Communist Party presidential candidate. He’s now ending his career by showing himself to be the most biased, bigoted, over-the-top, hyperbolic sort of unhinged director of the CIA we’ve ever had.”

Charles Faddis is a retired CIA operations and Case Officer, and the author of “Beyond Repair: - The Decline And Fall Of The CIA"

End

Anonymous said...

Somebody ought to write a book about the Decline And Fall Of The PAP.

Anonymous said...

Rb, u can't win the greatest Mr Bean or greatest Clown of all times in this Little Red Dot. Nobolee, YES, noboli can win this Greatest Clown of this island city , to announce this is too clear cut . Let's reveal this person ...da da... Looo...ny Be..an ...now u got it...

Anonymous said...

Nobody, and I mean nobody can be an impartial critic. Human nature always have that element of being biased. It is only a matter of intensity.


Whoever said...


Nobody can be an impartial politician or political hack.

Human nature is inherently biased towards others which is due to imbeded selfishness and nurtured idiosyncrasies.

It is only a matter of degree, intensity and subtlety,

b said...

A lot of elites are addicted to cheap labor and politicians are on their side. Trump maybe the answer otherwise the world will turn angry and a class war will happen.

Anonymous said...

Here again Redbean is outpouring his frustration about about life in Singapore. Of course Redbean is entitled to his opinion about Singapore. However if he is so unhappy, I am curious why he does not emigrate to somewhere where he can be happy. He can apply to take out all his CPF and retire in a country where he can find happiness. Many Singaporeans have done so. Just a thought.

Virgo 49 said...

Mr RB is staying back and continued his frustrations of life in Singapore because he wants to save the young or next generations from what's the old and present generation is undergoing now.

Yet, the millennials still blame the old generation for all their woes.

More interested in the Pink Movement than what's happening to their future.

To lighten the mood a Blue Joke for the Day.

Loony Loon and WKS went to what's we pioneer batch called Desker Road as Delta Romeo during our hey days.

Where we get one brave one that we sponsored to do the Tiger Show.

We then as spectators.

So Loony Loon went with WKS and on reaching there, as a matter of sucking to his Boss said Loudly: "Lee Sen Long" meaning you banged first as he is in the Arty Battalion.

Lee Sen Lon played safe and said: Wong Kan Seng.- You Go First.

Cheers

UG said...

KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA.

Investor of Investors said...

US-China trade war is helping to boost The use of Yuan in international transactions.

Overseas holdings of Chinese currency by institutions, individuals and central banks is on the rise.

Though the Yuan has recently declined in value compared to the USD, there is no sign 9f panic in the international markets, investors and banks.

The Yuan has a long way to go to replace the greenback as a international means of trading currency. However, it seems the Trade War launched by Donald Trump has given the Chinese government the resolve and incentive to accelerate the use of the Yuan as the main currency of the world and to proceed faster to become the dominant superpower, in order to safeguard its own strategic interests as well as for world peace.


Anonymous said...

7.04 pm anon, u have data to back up your story or not?

Anonymous said...

3.26 pm anon, u mean for those who are not happy with existing situation, they have to leave?what fucking logic is that? We can't people not happy continue to stay till may be one day become the majority? I think u need to be sodomized as one anon said so that u become wiseršŸ˜°

Whoever said...

Follow Sweden And Other European Countries - Say NO To Open-Leg And Open Asshole Immigration Policy

The polls have opened in Sweden's General Election - where an Anti-Immigration Party is vying to make large gains.

The Nationalist Sweden Democrats (SD), which polls suggest, have 20% more support and are tipped for second place.

Prime Minister Stefan Lofven's party is likely to lose big.

Neither the governing Social Democrats nor the main centre-right party, the Moderates, is likely to win a majority.

Immigration has been a central issue of the campaign. The SD doubled its seats in the 2014 election and it is predicted to double them again in this election.

Sweden Democrats tap into immigration fear

More than a quarter of Sweden's voters were still undecided in the final week of campaigning, according to national polling company Sifo.

"I'm still hesitating between the Moderates and SD. SD is quite close to the Moderates but they're a little more clear in what they want. They're more direct," Elias, an 18-year-old voting in his first election, told AFP news agency.

More than 30% of Singaporeans are undecided too.

Anonymous said...

If you are unhappy, don't leave the country. It will be a big mistake to leave the country. That is what the bastards want you to do. The bastards want to replace you with foreigners. DON'T FALL INTO THEIR TRAP!

Keep going and spread the words around. Keep your cool and resolve. Keep going. One day, the critical mass will be huge enough to kick these bastards out and put then in jail for good.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going like need going for honey. There is a beautiful garden of flowers at the end of the rainbow once the bastards are kicked out.

Take heart. My friends.

Anonymous said...

Correction:

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going like BEES going for honey. There is a beautiful garden of flowers at the end of the rainbow once the bastards are kicked out. Remember this and keep going.

Faint heart never win any battle, let alone war.

Take heart my friends Cheer up!

Anonymous said...

Trump revokes security clearance of ex-CIA director John Brennan
The former CIA chief has been an outspoken critic of the president and the White House has indicated it is considering similar action against other opponents of the administration.

Anonymous said...

The Chinese saying that it is easy to defend oneself against a thief from outside the house, but difficult to defend against one inside the house.

How is he going to act against a whole bunch of people opposing him inside the White House. Mike Pence is probably one of them. Then what?

The irony of the whole fiasco is that he was supposed to drain the swamp, but ended up replenishing the swamp with people chosen by him, but acting on the same wavelength as he is - professional liars masquerading as politicians. Some he already got rid off, but most remain.