3/10/2015

Banker Harm Kar Chan says….

Dear value client,

I thank you for putting $1m in fixed deposit in my bank under your name for the last 50 years. I am glad to inform you that your money has grown over the years from the interests earned. The good news is that at your blissful age of 65, you are a millionaire and you should be smiling at the statements that I will be sending to you monthly, to make you feel safe that the money is still there and in your name.

The bad news, oops, sorry, I mean another good news, since you are happily retired and nobody would want to employ you, you would not have any more income from your employment. The bank is very concern with your financial well being as you grow older without an income. Our expert statisticians said you are likely to live beyond 80 years. And our expert statisticians have it all worked out that you would need so much money to live through your entire life, and what you have in your fixed deposit is just enough, ‘gum gum ho’.

We have implemented a ‘Help Our Customers’ scheme so that you can receive a monthly stipend from the bank, and you don’t have to worry about having no money for your retirement. You will have enough to get by.

By the way, this new scheme by the bank to help you live a good life without worries is compulsory. Your fixed deposit money is still your money but with this new scheme you will be entitled to a handsome monthly sum of $1,500 for the rest of your life.

We will like to assure you that your money is still your money and you will receive a monthly statement as proof of ownership. No one is going to say the money is not your money. You don’t to worry about that. But because we have been paying interest to your money, we have the right to devise any scheme that we think is good to you. We are very caring especially with your money.

Good bye. Please do not call us. Our decision is final. Please do not ask why you cannot take back all your money that is kept with the bank. I also dunno how to explain why you cannot have your money back.

Your kind and caring and honest banker

Mr Harm Kar Chan

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Salah lah. It should be CPF, not Harm Kar Chan Banker.

Because no matter how Harm Kar Chan, no banker will not allow you to withdraw your deposits.

That's why those with lots of deposits with bank don't even need their CPF money. So they happily let it remain in CPF to get high interest of 6% lah. With high interest sure got some money to withdraw what, if there is really a need to withdraw from CPF. And also of course can even top up their wife's CPF account to get the high interest. 6%, u know.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't the banker's name Harm Kar Lee or Harm Kar Ling?

Anonymous said...

"I would like to reiterate that my mother has been a housewife all her life. She never held any full time job........how she could accumulate more than $15,000 in her CPF medisave account even though she’s been a housewife not holding any full-time job? The amount is actually due to the quarterly workfare that the government is giving her. Also every now and then, the government tops up senior citizens’ CPF medisave account. Plus the 4% earned and the compound interest resulted in her having more than $15,000 in her medisave account."
https://gintai.wordpress.com/2015/02/14/conversation-with-my-pax-medical-insurance/

Anonymous said...

https://gintai.wordpress.com/2015/02/14/conversation-with-my-pax-medical-insurance/

Maybe that's where the 60% in GE 2011 came from?

Anonymous said...

At least the banker didn't say your 18 year old son must compulsory work for the bank for 2 years for a peanut salary.

Anonymous said...

"I would like to reiterate that my mother has been a housewife all her life. She never held any full time job........how she could accumulate more than $15,000 in her CPF medisave account even though she’s been a housewife not holding any full-time job? The amount is actually due to the quarterly workfare that the government is giving her. "
March 10, 2015 9:06 am

So where did the $15,000 come from?
Did the PAP government "earn" the money from successful Temasek investments?
Or did the $15,000 come from taxing Gintai and Singaporeans to pay his mother $15,000 and pay themselves million dollar salaries?


Anonymous said...

Hi RB, speed. Which bank are you writing about? I must make sure I avoid this bank. Sounds quite like the CPF scheme, right?

Anonymous said...

Your mother got $15,000 lockup money. In return you got $200k money locked up and the amount is going up every year.

Good trade off?

Anonymous said...

Harm Kar Chan thinks the money belongs to him.

Chua Chin Leng aka redbean said...

Hi Speed,

It's fictional lah. A fictional bank with fictional bankers.

Anonymous said...

8.58 am, it's true lar. Way back when Malaysian govt imposed capital control, I went there to withdraw few hundreds and when they look at my sinkie ic, they said no. It was a shock of my life then.

Anonymous said...

Some daft sinkies even said never mind lah. Treat it as tax lah. Don't think about it lah. Damn rich man. Or damn stupid?

Anonymous said...

Former Greek FinMin Admits Hiding $750k Overseas "Afraid Country Would Collapse"
--------------------------
“Yes, I transferred some money abroad because as every Greek I was afraid that the country would collapse,” Hardouvelis said, adding that “Greeks always look at their own pockets.”

SOURCE:
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-03-09/former-greek-finmin-admits-hiding-750k-overseas-afraid-country-would-collapse

I wonder if Banker Harm Kar Chan also got transfer his money overseas?

b said...

All politicians are evil and some more evil than others.

Anonymous said...

Look Guys, when you hand over your hard earned $ to someone for thirty years without checking on them, it is gone, whether it is the government or family members. Money changes people, their perspectives, and their sense of right and wrong and their view of themselves. It distorts. Interesting to note that those managing your CPF $ have really little investment or real world experience, but think they are geniuses. Why this hubris? Because it is other peoples money and we all want to prove to others we are so smart. Have we all forgotten about the billions poured into Suzhou, Biotech Hub, the list goes on. Where's the accountability? Who will tell the emperor he is naked? In the private sector, you will be fired for this performance. Instead, the more you lose the more awards and upwards promotion! For some reason, we keep investing in foreign snake oil instead of our own people because we are a loathe for our own citizen to succeed. That, or the grass is always greener abroad.